


Three Halves Make a Whole

by whispered_story



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Dating, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, J3 are endgame, M/M, Soulmates, Threesome, established Jensen/Jeff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 08:06:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15659169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story/pseuds/whispered_story
Summary: Jared resigned himself to the fact that he doesn't have a soulmate years ago. He never felt the bond that is supposed to form as teenagers, guiding two people together. He has tried to find happiness elsewhere instead, focusing on his job and friends.And then, one day, Jensen walks into his bookstore and the bond snaps right into place. Jared knows they're soulmates instantly; Jensen's the person he's been hoping to find all his life.The only problem is that Jensen already has a soulmate.





	Three Halves Make a Whole

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Theatregirl7299](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theatregirl7299/gifts).



> written for [Theatregirl7299](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theatregirl7299) for [fandom loves Puerto Rico](https://fandomlovespuertorico.dreamwidth.org/). Sorry it took me so long to write this fic, but hopefully the fact that it's 20,000 words long instead of 5,000 words makes up for it a little bit!
> 
> Beta'd by [dancing_adrift](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift/pseuds/Dancing_Adrift) \- thank you, babe!

It feels like a punch in the gut when it happens. 

Jared is in the store, putting out a new shipment of books, totally lost in his task when he suddenly feels compelled to look up. There's a guy standing at the end of the row of shelves, and the moment their eyes meet, there's a sharp tug in his stomach, Jared's breath catches, and the book he's holding slips from his fingers.

Everything else fades away. Everything but the guy who is staring at him with wide, shocked eyes.

And Jared knows, without a doubt, that the one thing he didn't think would ever happen just did. He's found his soulmate.

*

Jared isn't sure when he gave up on finding his soulmate. When he started to accept that he didn't have one.

Everyone else starts feeling their bond as teenagers. It's like a pull at first, or so Jared has been told countless times by friends and family. Genevieve, his best friend and employee, once described it as an invisible string that connects you to your soulmate and draws you both together, guiding you in the right direction so you will meet.

And while his peers in high school started feeling their bonds one after the other, it never happened for Jared. He thought he was a late bloomer at first and he wasn't too worried. But then more and more time passed. His parents started to worry and his friends started to point out how weird it was. 

And while all of his friends followed where their bond led them, picked colleges based on where they felt they _needed _to go, to meet the person they were destined to be with, Jared had nothing to guide him anywhere. He was free to pick whatever college he wanted and he was happy enough about it at first, figured he was still young and maybe there was a reason why he wasn't feeling his bond yet. But then college happened, and as most people around him started meeting their soulmate, settling down, Jared started to really feel like he was missing something.__

__Started realizing he wasn't just taking his sweet time; he was different. He didn't have someone._ _

__*_ _

__"This can't be real," Jensen says. It's the first thing he's said other than mumbling his name when Jared asked for it, right before he herded Jensen into the breakroom, away from prying eyes._ _

__He's clutching the tea Jared made for him, his face pale._ _

__He's not a small guy, but he looks small sitting on the couch._ _

__"Feels real," Jared says, and Jensen looks at him with startled eyes, like he forgot Jared was even there. His eyes are green, Jared notes, pretty. Everything about him is pretty._ _

__Jared always wondered how attraction worked, if people are just automatically attracted to their soulmates or if physical attributes aren't meaningful when you're meant to be with someone. Jensen is, without a doubt, everything Jared could ever want in a guy as far as physical attributes are concerned._ _

__And Jared should be excited. This is the man who's his soulmate, who he's supposed to spend his life with. Instead his stomach is in knots, nerves making his palms sweaty._ _

__Jensen seems to have been in what Jared can only describe as a state of shock since they saw each other, and now that he slowly seems to be coming back to himself, there's no trace of happiness to be found._ _

__If anything, Jensen looks miserable._ _

__Jared feels his heart squeeze painfully, his chest too tight. It's fear and concern, but also the fact that Jensen looks so unhappy and they just met, but Jared already feels the overpowering need for Jensen to be happy. To be okay._ _

__"I know it's a surprise. I'm surprised. I mean, I don't know about you, but I never felt a bond, so I kinda thought I just didn't have a soulmate like everyone else," he rambles and gives Jensen a small, hopeful smile. "But this... this is a good thing. Right?"_ _

__The look Jensen gives him is sad. Jared tenses, curls one hand into a fist until he can press the tips of his fingers into his palm until it almost hurts._ _

__"Jared," Jensen says, his tone soft, like he's about to share some bad news. Like he's about to break Jared's heart. "I'm sorry. This can't be real. There has to be some kind of... of mistake."_ _

__"But—" Jared starts, but Jensen continues before he can get anything else out._ _

__"I already have a soulmate," he says, a little desperately, and then holds up his hand, and Jared can see he's trembling. There's a gold band around his ring finger. "This can't be right. We can't be... shit, it's not possible. It doesn't make any sense."_ _

__It's like the rug has been ripped out from under Jared. He doesn't know what he expected—maybe that Jensen doesn't like men, soulmate or not, or that he finds Jared physically repulsive. This, though, isn't something he didn't see coming, because Jensen is right. If he already has a soulmate, Jared can't be his. It doesn't work that way._ _

__"I... I don't understand," he mumbles, shaking his head._ _

__"Me neither," Jensen admits. He pauses and licks his lips, and Jared feels a yearning so deep it makes his stomach ache. This is his soulmate. But he's not _his_. "So I'm guessing you, uh, don't have anyone?"_ _

__"No," Jared says and gives a sad little snort. "Not until now, anyway."_ _

__"Sorry. It's... you're..."_ _

__"Old," Jared finishes._ _

__"You're not old. You're what? Thirty, at the most?"_ _

__"Twenty-eight," Jared says. "And you don't have to be nice about it. I know most people my age have settled down with their bonded. I just... I never felt a bond. Until just now."_ _

__Jensen grimaces and looks away quickly. "Jared," he says. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. But I can't. I don't know what's going on or what it means, but nothing like that can ever happen between us. I love Jeff. He's my entire life."_ _

__Jeff._ _

__Somehow knowing the name makes it worse. Makes it more real._ _

__Jared swallows thickly. "We have a bond," he says weakly._ _

__Jensen gives him another one of those sad smiles. "Yeah. But I can't be that guy for you," he says and gives a small shake of his head, then heaves a sigh. "I think I should go now."_ _

__"Go," Jared echoes._ _

__"I'm sorry," Jensen repeats. He lifts his hands, as if he wants to reach out, but then he draws back. "I'm so sorry. We should forget that this ever happened, Jared. It's better that way."_ _

__The words are mumbled, and the fact that they're heartfelt just breaks Jared's heart a little more._ _

__This is it. _Jensen_ is it for him. _ _

__And Jared has to watch him walk out of his life as suddenly as he walked into it, and there's nothing he can do about it._ _

__*_ _

__Jared holds it together until the door to the store falls shut behind Jensen with a soft jingle._ _

__"Jared?" Genevieve asks tentatively._ _

__Jared sucks in a breath, his vision going blurry with tears, and shakes his head. He brushes past her wordlessly, his steps quick._ _

__He has a tiny office that connects to the breakroom, and Jared shuts the door firmly behind himself, turning the lock._ _

__The first sob that breaks free hurts, makes his chest ache, and Jared crumbles, as if every single muscle in his body suddenly goes lax, gives in. Hiding his face in his hands, Jared cries._ _

__*_ _

__Jared isn't sure how much time has passed by the time he leaves his office. His eyes feel gritty, burning, his face hot and skin too tight. There's a heaviness that has settled in his stomach, making him feel vaguely nauseated._ _

__Genevieve is sitting on the couch in the breakroom, exactly where Jensen sat not too long ago, and she springs up when she sees Jared._ _

__"Jesus Christ, Jared. What's going on? What's wrong?" she asks. She takes a few steps towards him, then stops, hovering like she isn't sure what to do._ _

__Jared isn't sure what to say, isn't sure what happened. He met his soulmate and then lost him again._ _

__"Jared, who was that guy?" Genevieve prods, her tone softer._ _

__Jared's lips are trembling and he blinks back tears. "My soulmate," he whispers and then he snorts. "But I'm not his."_ _

__It's the best way he can explain it. The best way to make sense of it. Jensen might have felt the bond the same way he did, but Jared still isn't his soulmate. Someone else is. Someone else gets to be with Jensen, to touch him and kiss him and hold him. To build a life with him._ _

__And Jared is alone once again. It's never felt this heartbreaking not to have anyone as it does right now._ _

__*_ _

__Jared stays home for three days and wallows. He lets Genevieve and Osric handle the store and stays in bed all day long instead._ _

__He eats too much ice cream and drinks too much whiskey, but none of it really makes him feel better._ _

__It's worse than before. Jared had accepted not having a soulmate; he'd made his peace with it and built a life for himself. And as much as he'd longed for someone to share a bond with, he was doing okay._ _

__But that's all changed now. Because he knows he does have a soulmate, that there's someone out there who is perfect and supposed to be his, and everything Jared has told himself before suddenly feels like a lie. He got a taste of a different life, if only for a few moments, and now he doesn't know how to go on without it. How to not have Jensen in his life._ _

__He longs for him._ _

__Every single part of his body, his soul, longs to be in Jensen's presence again. And no amount of ice cream or whiskey can fix that._ _

__*_ _

__"Do you wanna talk about it?" Genevieve asks softly when Jared comes back into work on day four._ _

__Jared busies himself straightening some papers next to the cash register. "No," he says. "No, I... I wanna sell some books, that's what I want to do. I bet you and Osric have made a mess of this place without me here."_ _

__He gives Genevieve a fake, cheerful smile. Genevieve doesn't return it._ _

__"Okay," she says. "But if you do want to talk, I'm here."_ _

__"Hmm. Did any new shipments get in while I was gone?" Jared asks, ignoring Genevieve's offer._ _

__*_ _

__Jared is arranging a new display of books on one of the round tables set up throughout the store when someone clears their throat behind him._ _

__Jared puts the book in his hand away and then turns slowly, gives himself a moment to plaster on the most polite smile he can muster. It doesn't feel like much, but he hopes the customer won't notice. He's been letting Genevieve handle most of the interactions with customers the past couple of days, not feeling quite ready to fake being nice and upbeat just yet._ _

__Right now, he's almost glad for the interruption though, because the display is looking about as shitty as Jared feels._ _

__"Sorry to interrupt," the man standing a few feet away says._ _

__"No problem," Jared replies with as much cheer as he can manage. "How can I help you?"_ _

__"I'm looking for a recommendation," the man says and gives a small shrug. "I haven't really had the time to sit down and read in a while and I'm a bit overwhelmed by all the choices. So I thought I'd ask for some help. You're Jared Padalecki, right? You own the store?"_ _

__"Yeah," Jared confirms, giving a nod._ _

__The man smiles, but it's tense, not quite happy. "I'm Jeff," he says._ _

__Jeff._ _

__Jared's stomach turns and his gaze swoops down to the man's hand, to the golden ring there that's just barely visible but no doubt matches Jensen's. It's something a lot of bonded couples wear, as a sign of their connection._ _

__To Jared, now, it feels like the ring is mocking him. Showing him what he can't have. What's already Jeff's._ _

__"Jared," Jeff starts, and Jared gives a quick shake of his head._ _

__He doesn't need to hear it. Doesn't need Jeff to come here. Jared is too tired to fight for Jensen and he knows it's futile anyway._ _

__"Look, I get why you came here. But you don't have anything to worry about; I'm not going to get into your and Jensen's way," he says and then scoffs. "I doubt I could if I wanted to, anyway—Jensen made that more than clear. So you don't have to warn me off Jensen or whatever you came here to do."_ _

__Jeff nods. "I wanted to ask you to come to dinner at our place on Friday," he says, tone soft._ _

__"You—" Jared starts and then stops, not sure what to say. "Why? So you can rub your and Jensen's relationship in my face? Is this some kind of game—mock the guy who thinks your partner his is soulmate?"_ _

__"No," Jeff says. "It's not a game. Not at all."_ _

__"Well, thanks for the invite, but no thanks," Jared says harshly. "I don't need a display of how goddamn happy you are together to get it. Don't worry."_ _

__"He's not." The words are spoken softly, like it pains Jeff to say them._ _

__Jared stops and takes in a breath._ _

__"He's not what?" he can't stop himself from asking._ _

__Jeff sighs. "Jensen isn't happy," he says. "He's _miserable_. And I love him more than anything, so if bringing you into our lives is what he needs to be happy, then I'll do that. So I'm asking you to come have dinner with us, so we can somehow work this out."_ _

__Jared snorts. "You, what, want us to share him?" he snarks, and he hates that there's a part of him that hopes Jeff will say yes. A part of him that will do anything to get even a little bit of time with Jensen, to have him in his life, even though the thought of sharing him makes him feel sick to his stomach._ _

__Jeff must feel the same way, though, he realizes. Maybe even more so than Jared because he's been with Jensen for a while, has had him to himself, and their bond must be so much deeper than his and Jensen's is after just barely meeting. And yet, here he is, asking Jared into their lives for Jensen's sake._ _

__Jeff shrugs. "I want him to be happy," he says. "I don't understand any of this, Jared. It doesn't make sense that he has two soulmates and I'm not sure what to do or how to handle this. But that's how things apparently are and I can tell he needs you. And I'm not going to be the reason he's miserable."_ _

__"How?" Jared asks plainly. "What you're suggesting—how the hell could that ever work out?"_ _

__"I don't know," Jeff says, his voice harsher for a moment, before his shoulders drop. "I don't fucking know. I thought maybe we could figure that out together."_ _

__Jared should say no. He knows he should say no. There's no way they could possibly make this work; even the idea of someone having two soulmates, of two people _sharing_ a soulmate, is insane. And Jensen already walked out on him once, so clearly this can only end in Jared getting his heart more bruised and broken than it already is. _ _

__But if there's a chance, even the tiniest possibility that things could somehow work out, then Jared doesn't know how he can decline Jeff's offer._ _

__"Give me your address," he says, voice a little frail._ _

__Jeff meets his eyes and gives he small nod, looking about as off-kilter as Jared feels right now. He pulls out his wallet and rummages around in it until he pulls out a piece of paper._ _

__It gives Jared a moment to really look at him. He's tall, older than both him and Jensen, dressed in a nice, fitted suit, but his dark hair and beard, shot through with gray already, look a little ruffled. He looks sophisticated, but there's an edge to him._ _

__Standing there in jeans and a t-shirt, Jared feels like Jeff is his exact opposite. And he wonders how that works. How both he and Jeff can be Jensen's soulmates when Jared can't imagine they have anything in common._ _

__"Here," Jeff says, handing him the business card. "Does seven o'clock work for you?"_ _

__Jared looks down at the card and of-fucking-course the guy is a fucking lawyer, probably a rich, successful one. Jared flips the card over, sees an address scribbled there in slightly messy handwriting._ _

__"Yeah, seven is fine," he says, because it's not like he had any other plans for a Friday night besides maybe getting drunk by himself and feeling miserable._ _

__Jeff gives him a tight smile. "Good," he says. "So—how about that book recommendation?"_ _

__*_ _

__Jared changes his outfit four times and then spends a good thirty minutes at the liquor store, picking out a bottle of wine._ _

__He wants to see Jensen again so badly, but at the same time he's terrified of the evening. Scared that the little bit of hope he's been clinging to since Jeff showed up at the bookstore will be crushed again and he'll be left with nothing once more._ _

__Jensen and Jeff live in a nice neighborhood, and Jared feels a pang of jealousy and pain as he pulls into the driveway of their house. It's all so picture-perfect. Jared's an outsider, someone who doesn't belong here._ _

__Like he's forcing himself into this life anyway, ripping apart Jensen's and Jeff's lives._ _

__And at the same time the house feels right, like this is where Jared is supposed to be. Because Jensen is there and being this close to him eases some of Jared's pain and heartache. He feels Jensen, his presence soothing._ _

__He still almost turns around again, because he knows he should, knows Jensen doesn't even want him to be here. But Jensen is so close and he can't._ _

__Steeling himself, Jared grabs the wine, gets out of the car, and walks up to the front door with all the confidence he can muster._ _

__It's Jensen who opens the door. Jared watches the smile slip from his face, his eyes widening before he narrows them. "What the hell are you doing here?" he hisses. "How the hell did you find out where I live?"_ _

__Jared flounders for a moment, not sure what to say, his stomach in knots because surely Jeff isn't that cruel to play a joke on him. To lure him here just to have Jensen kick him right out of the house again. "Jeff... Jeff invited me," he finally manages._ _

__Jensen's anger morphs into surprise. "Jeff," he repeats and then huffs. "Stay here."_ _

__He turns without giving Jared a chance to reply and vanishes into the house. Jared is left feeling like an idiot, standing on the porch. He curls his hand more tightly around the bottle, shoulders tense._ _

__It takes a couple of excruciating minutes, and a few times Jared hears raised voices, though he can't make out what they're saying. It's Jeff who finally appears, a tense, sheepish expression on his face._ _

__"Jared," he greets. "Sorry Jensen made you wait out here. He clearly forgot about his good manners."_ _

__The last part is said loudly and Jared hears a clatter from inside the house._ _

__"He's a bit of a drama queen sometimes," Jeff mumbles, clearly trying to be humorous. It falls a little flat, but Jared appreciates the attempt anyway._ _

__"Maybe I should go," he offers. "He doesn't want me here."_ _

__"No, Jared please. He does want you here. He _really_ does," Jeff says, and he sounds a little sad. Like it's hurting him to admit—and Jared knows he'd feel the same way if he was in Jeff's shoes. "Come on in. Please."_ _

__Jeff steps aside, holding the door open wider. Jared hesitates for one more moment, but he can't bring himself to leave, so he finally nods._ _

__"Okay," he agrees and holds up the bottle of wine. "We'll probably need this."_ _

__Jeff snorts. "Yeah, I think we do."_ _

__*_ _

__The first few minutes are really stilted. Jensen is scowling at Jeff and Jared feels totally out of place. It's a relief when Jeff cracks open a bottle of wine, the one Jared brought chilling in the fridge, and pours each of them a glass._ _

__He holds up his own glass, grinning dryly. "This fucking sucks, huh?" he says instead of toasting, and Jensen snorts._ _

__"Yeah," Jared agrees._ _

__Jeff nods. "How about you two go talk a little? Dinner should be ready in a bit."_ _

__"Jeff," Jensen starts, but Jeff shakes his head._ _

__"Come on, go. I'll join you guys in a bit," he says. "Please, Jensen?"_ _

__Jensen meets Jared's eyes briefly, then nods. He leads Jared into the living-room wordlessly, and settles down with a heavy sigh. Jared follows, making sure to keep a bit of space between them._ _

__"So," he starts nervously._ _

__"So," Jensen echoes._ _

__"Should I go?" Jared asks. "I didn't know Jeff hadn't told you he asked me over."_ _

__Jensen looks at him, and Jared realizes he looks exhausted, bags under his eyes that he can't remember being there when they first met._ _

__"I don't want to hurt him," he mumbles. "I know I acted like a dick just now. And at the store. But I can't hurt him, Jared."_ _

__"He doesn't want to see you hurting either," Jared replies gently._ _

__He watches Jensen swallow thickly before nodding. "What a mess, huh?"_ _

__"Yeah," Jared agrees. "I'll do what you want me to, Jensen. Jeff asked, so I came, but if you don't want me in your life, I'll go."_ _

__"I don't know what I want, Jared. I don't like how Jeff handled it, but he has a point. I've been... god, I've been so far from okay these past few days. Ignoring this isn't working, as much as I had wished it would," Jensen says plainly. "At least not for me."_ _

__"For me neither," Jared admits._ _

__"Fuck, Jared," Jensen murmurs, and then he leans in, cups Jared's face with one hand, and brushes their lips together. It's chaste and short, and Jared's heart is racing in his chest._ _

__Jensen draws back again after a moment, but his hand stays curled around Jared's jaw. "Feels like the first time that I can properly breathe again since walking out of the store."_ _

__Jared swallows past the lump in his throat and nods._ _

__"Dinner is ready."_ _

__Jared startles, drawing back from Jensen. Jeff is standing in the doorway, and Jared feels worry and guilt gnawing at his stomach instantly._ _

__"Sorry. We were just—" Jared starts._ _

__Jeff waves him off, but the smile he gives him looks pained. "It's okay," he says. "This is why you're here, right?"_ _

__"Jeff," Jensen says softly._ _

__"No, really," Jeff insists. "Let's eat and talk about this, so nobody has to feel like they're doing something wrong here."_ _

__Jared gives a shaky nod, but he wonders if that's even really possible. Whatever solution they come to, he can't imagine that all three of them will ever be happy with the arrangement, will ever feel like it's normal._ _

__*_ _

__"This is good," Jared says politely after his first bite of steak. Truth is, the food really is great, but Jared feels too nervous to enjoy it._ _

__"Thank you, Jared," Jeff says._ _

__"Yeah, it's great, Jeff," Jensen agrees, but he doesn't sound too enthusiastic either. He shifts in his seat and clears his throat. "So. Does anyone have any suggestions how we're gonna do this? One of you gets me Monday through Wednesday and the other Thursday through Saturday and we alternate Sundays?"_ _

__It's a joke, obviously, Jensen's tone sarcastic, but it makes Jared swallow nervously. He's about to say something when Jeff exhales loudly._ _

__"Well, I wouldn't have put it that crassly," he starts._ _

__"Fuck, Jeff, are you serious?" Jensen asks._ _

__Jared peers at both of them, neither of them looking comfortable, but then Jeff gives a small nod._ _

__"Look, it's basically the only thing I can think of. If anyone has a better idea, feel free, but... yeah, I think the fairest solution would be if you split your time up between us," he says. "Maybe with a less rigid schedule, though."_ _

__Jensen huffs and shakes his head. "How is this not going to turn into an absolute clusterfuck?" he asks, and Jared thinks he really has a point._ _

__"I don't know," Jeff admits. "But I know I couldn't live without you, Jensen. So I'm not going to even try to make either of you live without the other either. It wouldn't be fair."_ _

__"Jared, what do you think?" Jensen asks gently._ _

__Jared puts his fork down and shrugs, thinking about what to say before he opens his mouth._ _

__"I know this isn't my fault, but at the end of the day I'm the one who's stepping into a perfectly fine relationship. So part of me feels like I shouldn't have any say in this," he admits slowly and meets Jensen's eyes. "But I want you to be in my life. I want to be with you."_ _

__"Jensen?" Jeff prompts._ _

__Jensen looks a little lost, glancing back and forth between them._ _

__"It's okay," Jeff adds. "I know you want to be with him, too."_ _

__"Yeah," Jensen says quietly and nods. "I do."_ _

__The words lift a weight of Jared's shoulders, make his heart ache a little less than it has been for days. It's not going to be smooth sailing. Maybe it will end in a complete clusterfuck for all of them, like Jensen predicted. But at least Jared has a chance to be with Jensen now._ _

__*_ _

__Jared has never been more nervous in his life than he feels the day of his and Jensen's first date._ _

__He leaves the store a little early, Genevieve promising to close up, so he can take a long shower and then _primp_. There's really no other word for it. He moisturizes, shaves carefully and then spends entirely too long styling his hair._ _

__He likes to think he takes care of himself pretty well, but he feels the need to put in a little bit of extra effort for Jensen. For one, because Jared is sure Jensen is completely out of his league. And for another, because there's Jeff and Jared can't help but feeling like he has to compete with him._ _

__Jared doesn't think he's a bad looking guy, but he feels plain compared to Jeff. He's the sweet boy next door and Jeff is the guy who whisks a date off on a motorcycle. And yet he has to be a saint to encourage Jensen to be with both of them. Jared isn't sure what he would have done if he'd been in Jeff's shoes._ _

__Jensen shows up at his place right on time, and Jared feels his presence wash over him before he even rings his doorbell._ _

__Jared takes one last glance at his reflection in the mirror, making sure he looks at least halfway presentable, before he goes to open the door._ _

__His heart skips a beat when he sees Jensen, dressed casually in a nice pair of jeans and a black henley, and at the same time he feels himself calm down, feels a sense of rightness now that Jensen is close-by._ _

__"Hi," he says._ _

__"Hey," Jensen replies and looks Jared up and down once. "You look great? I mean, you look great. That wasn't supposed to come out as a question."_ _

__"Uh, okay?" Jared replies, and Jensen gives a nervous little laugh._ _

__"Shit, sorry. I'm a little rusty," he admits. "I don't know what to say or how to act or... how to _date_."_ _

__"That's okay," Jared says. "You wanna come in or leave right away?"_ _

__"Leave, if you don't mind? I made reservations and I don't want us to be late," Jensen replies._ _

__"No, yeah, that's fine," Jared nods. "Let me just go grab my keys and wallet."_ _

__He quickly gathers his things and then takes a deep breath to calm himself down a little before he joins Jensen again. He feels excited, but also a little nervous. It's been a while since he's been on a date—he used to go out with guys when he was a bit younger, when there were guys closer to his own age who hadn't met their soulmate yet and wanted to have some fun. But as he got older, and his prospective dates didn't, Jared stopped dating altogether and he didn't think he'd ever get to go out on a date again._ _

__*_ _

__"Have you been here before?" Jared asks when the waiter has left them alone with the menus._ _

__Jensen shakes his head. "No, but the reviews online were pretty good, so I figured we could try it out," he says. "Jeff and I—"_ _

__He stops suddenly, makes a face._ _

__"What?" Jared asks._ _

__"I shouldn't bring him up," Jensen says and runs a hand over his face. He isn't wearing his ring, Jared realizes._ _

__Jared appreciates the gesture, knows seeing it would probably just be a hurtful reminder of the fact that Jensen has someone else, but at the same time it makes him feel sad for Jensen._ _

__Making up his mind, Jared gives Jensen a small smile._ _

__"It's okay," he reassures him as heartfelt as he can. "He's a big part of your life. I'm not sure you can talk about yourself and _not_ talk about him. And I want to get to know you."_ _

__It's not a complete lie. There is no Jensen without Jeff, even if they'd like to pretend otherwise. And if he wants Jensen, which he does, he has to accept that Jeff is a big part of his life and that Jensen will talk about him._ _

__"Are you sure?" Jensen asks. "I know this is hard on you. And him. I can try not to talk about him if you'd prefer."_ _

__"No, it's alright," Jared says. "So, you were saying?"_ _

__Jensen gives him a sheepish smile. "Uh, just that we don't go out that much. We stay in a lot."_ _

__"Yeah, me too," Jared says. "I'm not really a good cook though. So it's a lot of take-out for me."_ _

__"Well, maybe I can cook dinner for you sometime," Jensen offers. "I'm decent in the kitchen."_ _

__"I'd like that," Jared says, the thought of future dates with Jensen making his stomach flutter._ _

__*_ _

__The night passes way too quickly for Jared's liking. Dinner is followed by mini-golf, and as cheesy as the idea sounded, Jared ends up enjoying himself. Being with Jensen is as easy as everyone always said it would be with a soulmate, despite how complicated their situation is. The more they talk, the more it feels like Jared has known Jensen forever, like there is nothing he doesn't feel comfortable sharing with him._ _

__He feels at ease with Jensen in a way he never has—with another person or just life in general. Jensen is a piece of him that slots right into place, fills a hole he's been living with for too long. And as right as it feels, it's also scary as hell._ _

__When Jensen drops him off at his place that night, he insists on walking Jared all the way to the front door of his apartment._ _

__"I had a great time tonight," he says and then gives a self-deprecating laugh. "That's such a cliché thing to so say, right?"_ _

__"Yeah," Jared agrees and smiles. "But I had fun, too."_ _

__"Good," Jensen says. He hesitates, looking unsure, and then he leans in, murmurs, "Can I?"_ _

__"Yeah," Jared replies, voice soft, and moments later Jensen's lips are on his. He cups Jared's face with one hand and Jared isn't sure who deepens the kiss first, but before long his mouth parts under Jensen's and their tongues slide together and he fists his hands into Jensen's shirt._ _

__They're both a little breathless when they part, and Jared steals a final kiss before Jensen steps back._ _

__"Good night, Jared," he murmurs._ _

__Jared nods dumbly, letting the door behind him take some of his weight. The single kiss has left him half-hard, heat burning in his stomach. "Night," he replies, and Jensen smiles at him before he leaves._ _

__*_ _

__"You look happy," Genevieve notes on Monday morning, taking a sip of coffee. Jared glares at her because he has a strict 'no coffee outside of the breakroom' rule that she likes to ignore._ _

__"If you spill any on the books," he warns._ _

__"You'll fire me, I know," Genevieve says, rolling her eyes. "So. You. Happy. What's up with that?"_ _

__Jared shrugs. "I had a date with Jensen on Saturday," he says, trying to sound casual, even though just thinking about it makes his stomach flutter._ _

__"That's why you skipped out early, huh?" Genevieve asks. "So, the date was good?"_ _

__"Yeah."_ _

__Genevieve frowns at him. "Jared," she starts. "How is this going to work? You and him and the other guy?"_ _

__"I don't know," Jared says and gives a small shrug. "I mean, it's complicated. But we're trying."_ _

__"Yeah, but what about long term?" Genevieve asks. "I mean, have you thought about that at all? Are you gonna live on your own and he's going to share a house with his other soulmate and come see you every now and then?"_ _

__"We only just started seeing each other," Jared says._ _

__"This isn't some casual fling, Jared. He's your soulmate. This is forever, so you need to figure that kind of stuff out," Genevieve says. "I'm not trying to rain on your parade, honey, but I don't want you to get hurt."_ _

__"What do you want me to do? _Not_ date him?" Jared asks plainly. "I don't think I can, Gen. Like you said, he's my soulmate."_ _

__"But he's also someone else's soulmate," Genevieve reminds him gently. "And I'm still not sure how the hell that's even possible, but... what if you three can't work it out, Jared?"_ _

__"You don't think we will," Jared says._ _

__Genevieve sighs. "I didn't say that. I'm just not sure," she admits. "Just... be careful. Okay?"_ _

__"Would you be?" Jared asks. "If you were in my shoes and Tom had another soulmate. Could you take a step back and not be with him?"_ _

__Genevieve looks at him and huffs. "No," she admits. "But I'd hope my best friend would be looking out for me and make sure I was cautious."_ _

__"I'll try, okay?" Jared promises, though he already knows it'll be a promise he'll break. One date and he already feels in way too deep._ _

__*_ _

__"You know, a guy could get intimidated, looking at this," Jensen says, letting his fingers trail over the spine of one of the books on the shelf in Jared's living room._ _

__Jared doesn't reply right away, takes a moment to look at Jensen's back, his eyes traveling down to the curve of his ass and the bow of his legs. "At my books?" he finally asks, lips curving into a smile._ _

__Jensen turns around, leaning back against the shelf. "Yeah. Have you read all of these?"_ _

__Jared crosses the distance between them and hands Jensen one of the bottles of beer he got from the fridge. "Yeah. I read a lot," he says. "But you're the doctor. I mean, talk about intimidating."_ _

__"Physical therapist," Jensen corrects. "That's not quite the same thing as a brain surgeon, sweetheart."_ _

__Jared shrugs. "Still impressive," he says._ _

__"I think _you're_ impressive," Jensen replies, tipping his head back with a small smile. "It's weird how that works, huh? How you just seem to fit with who you're bonded with. I never really thought about that before, you know?"_ _

__"Why are you thinking about it now?" Jared asks._ _

__Jensen rests his free hand on Jared's hip and makes a thoughtful noise. "I don't know. With Jeff... it was just what it was. Everyone has a soulmate, he was mine, I never questioned it. He was my perfect fit. Still _is_. But now I've met you and you're so different, but I'm just as drawn to you as I am to him."_ _

__"You are?" Jared asks._ _

__"Of course I am," Jensen says. "I met him first, but the bond with you is the same as with him. I knew it the moment I met you, Jared; it felt just like it did when I first met Jeff."_ _

__"'m not second best then," Jared mumbles, ducking his head._ _

__Jensen gives him a sad little smile. "Is that what you've been thinking?" he asks._ _

__Jared shrugs._ _

__Jensen slides his hand further back, tugs Jared a little closer. "Honestly? It'd be easier if you were, Jared. Not gonna lie. But you're not," he says. "That's why I can't let you go."_ _

__He surges up, kisses Jared. It's a little off-kilter at first, but then Jensen cups his face in both hands, angles his head. Jared sighs into the kiss when their lips slide together seamlessly, moving a little closer to Jensen._ _

__"Jared," Jensen murmurs against his lips and pulls back an inch or two. "Wanna take this to the bedroom?"_ _

__The words make liquid heat spread through Jared's stomach, and he nods before he can even think about it. He puts his beer onto the shelf behind Jensen, then grabs the bottle from Jensen and puts it down next to his._ _

__But then he hesitates, rolling his lip between his teeth. "Are you sure?" he asks._ _

__Jensen looks at him, his cheeks flushed but his expression somber. Jared gets it. They've been on several dates over the past few weeks, spent time together and gotten to know each other, but physically they haven't moved past making out yet. Jared doubts any of his friends waited that long with their bonded partner, but it's different for them. It's a big step for Jensen and Jared wouldn't be surprised if he's going into this with mixed feelings. He hasn't been with another person since meeting Jeff and it must feel weird for him, being intimate with Jared now._ _

__"We don't have to," Jared adds softly._ _

__Jensen leans in, brushes their lips together in a soft, sweet kiss. "I want to," he says. "I've been thinking about this for weeks, Jared."_ _

__"Yeah?"_ _

__"Hmm," Jensen hums. "Haven't you?"_ _

__"God yes," Jared mutters, and Jensen huffs out a small laugh._ _

__"Well then, come on," Jensen says and then adds, "I'm sure, Jared."_ _

__"Okay," Jared agrees and ducks down for another kiss before he steps back and takes Jensen's hand in his._ _

__*_ _

__If Jared thought kissing Jensen felt right, it's nothing compared to the feeling of Jensen's weight settling down on top of him, pressing him down into the mattress. They've stripped off most of their clothes, save for their underwear, before Jared pulls Jensen down onto the bed with him._ _

__The moment they hit the mattress though, Jared surrenders to Jensen. He has a feeling Jensen needs to feel in charge right now and Jared has never been fussy about positions when it comes to sex. And he likes this, having Jensen on top of him, taking control._ _

__Jared is taller than Jensen, but he's also a bit trimmer, his broad shoulders tapering off into a slim waist. Jensen is a little bulkier, all raw strength hidden under a more reserved demeanor and it excites Jared. His cock is hard and leaking precome in his boxer-briefs and he's ready for Jensen to do whatever he wants to him. Take whatever he wants._ _

__Jared can't stop touching either. Jensen's skin is warm and smooth, his upper body almost hairless, and Jared runs his hands over his shoulders, down his arms, before settling them high on Jensen's waist just as Jensen closes his mouth over his in a deep kiss. He coaxes Jared's mouth open, slides his tongue into Jared's mouth as he rocks his hips down against Jared's. Jared moans into his mouth, arching up as much as Jensen's weight on top of him allows and then slides one leg over Jensen's in an attempt to get him even closer._ _

__Jared feels a bit like a teenager, is taken back to memories of his first fumbled attempts at sex in the back of his date's car. But this is better. Even if they don't do anything else, even if Jensen gets him off just by grinding against him, this will be perfect._ _

__The wet sounds of their mouths moving together and their harsh breathing are the only noises in the room for a while, until Jensen draws back with a soft keen._ _

__"Baby," he pants. He grabs Jared by the hips, pinning him down and stilling his movements. "Stop. I don't wanna come like this."_ _

__"'kay," Jared groans. He goes boneless, head sinking down into the heap of pillows under him, and stares up at Jensen, feeling hot and flushed. "You wanna..."_ _

__"Yeah," Jensen says and pushes himself up on his hands._ _

__"Lube's in the—" Jared nods at the nightstand instead of completing the sentence._ _

__Jensen nods, but doesn't make a move for the nightstand. Instead he keeps looking down at Jared. "How do you wanna do this?" he asks, voice gentle._ _

__Jared gives Jensen a small grin and, now that his hips are free to move again, rocks up against Jensen once, lets their hard cocks slide together. The sensation sends a spark of pleasure through him and he bites down onto his lower lip, muffling his moan. "'m good like this."_ _

__"Fuck," Jensen hisses and dips down, pressing a quick, hard kiss to Jared's lips. He sits back, crawls up a little on the mattress to reach for the drawer._ _

__He rummages around for a moment and then drops a bottle of lube onto the pillow and a condom. "I mean, I'm clean, but..." he starts._ _

__"Yeah, me too," Jared interjects and nods. "But condoms are good. I always use them."_ _

__"Oh," Jensen says, and Jared feels himself blush._ _

__"Not that I," he begins and stops. "It's been a while."_ _

__Jensen nods, murmurs a soft "okay" and then leans down for a kiss. This one is slower than before, and when he pulls back he's smiling. He slides his hands down Jared's sides, hooks his fingers under the waistband of Jared's underwear and gives it a small tug._ _

__"Ready?"_ _

__Jared lifts his hips, mumbles, "Hell, yeah."_ _

__Jensen's smile turns into a grin as he pulls Jared's underwear down. He has to sit back again to get them fully off and he stays there after tossing the piece of clothing aside, looking down at Jared. Jared blushes, feeling hot all over, but he lets Jensen look at him, his legs splayed around Jensen, his hard cock curving against his belly._ _

__"You're so beautiful," Jensen murmurs, eyes roaming over Jared's body. When he meets Jared's eyes, his lips curve up and he finally leans over Jared again. "Gonna make you feel so good, baby."_ _

__Jared barely has time to make a sound before they're kissing again, Jensen's body pressing back down onto his. The soft material of his underwear dragging against his sensitive cock makes him moan, and he grabs Jensen's shoulders, digging his fingers into firm muscles._ _

__Jared is more than ready for them to move on to the main event, but he doesn't complain when Jensen starts kissing down his jaw and throat, brushes his lips over his collarbone as his hands map out Jared's body. It feels amazing, somewhere between arousing and sweet, and that's not something Jared ever really got to experience. It's never been about love; he's never had a connection to any of the people he's been with. Sex has always been about getting off, having a bit of fun before he and his partner parted ways._ _

__Jensen is taking his time though. He kisses a path down Jared's chest, then lifts his mouth to Jared's right nipple. He tongues over it before sucking it between his lips, a tingle surging through Jared, and he slides his hands up from Jensen's shoulders to the back of his head, fingers scratching through short hair._ _

__There's a sting when Jensen suddenly closes his teeth around the nub, not hard enough to really hurt, but enough for Jared to gasp, the pleasure sharp and unexpected._ _

__"You like that," Jensen murmurs, sounding more curious than anything, and he moves over to the left nipple. He runs his tongue over it a few times, getting it wet, and then bites down on it too._ _

__"Fuck, Jensen," Jared hisses, arching up. Jensen chuckles, the noise vibrating against Jared's skin, and nips Jared's pecs. He's a little less gentle as he moves down, kisses alternating with playful bites now, and Jared's head is swimming with pleasure. As his mouth reaches Jared's belly, he curls his hand around Jared's cock and gives him a few strokes before he lifts his mouth to the tip._ _

__He licks around it, making Jared moan loudly, and opens his mouth around the crown._ _

__"Jensen!" Jared warns with a whimper. It's been too long and he's embarrassingly close to coming already, but instead of heeding the warning, Jensen takes him in deeper. He sucks Jared down until Jared feels himself hit the back of his throat. He tries to be good, not to thrust up, but he can't help hitching his hips restlessly, the warm, wet suction of Jensen's mouth setting every nerve inside him on fire._ _

__When Jensen hums around him, Jared is done. He feels his balls draw up, his belly tightening with pleasure, and he comes with a shout._ _

__He's barely aware of Jensen lifting up until only the tip of Jared's cock is in his mouth, resting on his tongue, as he strokes him through the orgasm._ _

__Jensen clears his throat when he finally pulls off, moving back up Jared's body, but he's smiling. His rock hard cock drags against Jared, making him squirm under Jensen._ _

__"Sorry for coming so quickly," Jared says sheepishly, heartfelt despite how blissed out he feels right now._ _

__"I wanted you to, babe," Jensen says and grabs the lube, holding it up. "Still up for this?"_ _

__Jared can only nod, letting his legs fall open wider in a silent invitation. His heart is racing in his chest, and he's breathless and boneless, but the want, the arousal, is still sharp. The snick of the bottle being uncapped makes him tense in anticipation, and he doesn't have to wait long before he feels a slick, cold finger slide between his cheeks._ _

__Jensen circles Jared's hole and the touch is enough to make Jared moan softly._ _

__"Tell me if you want me to slow down or stop," Jensen says, and Jared nods jerkily even though he knows there's no way in hell he'll want either of those._ _

__Jensen kisses the corner of his mouth as he sinks his finger into Jared. It slides in easily and Jensen only pumps it in and out a few times before pressing a second finger in alongside it. His fingers feel thicker than Jared's own when he gets himself off like this, better because this is someone else's touch. Jensen's touch._ _

__"More," he pleads. "God, give me more, Jen. Please."_ _

__"Are you sure?" Jensen asks, but he pulls out until only the tips of his fingers are in and Jared feels a third press up against his hole without pushing inside yet._ _

__"Yeah," he encourages. "Come on."_ _

__Jensen makes a choked noise, nodding, his face beautifully flushed. He holds Jared's gaze as he slips the third finger in next to the others. Jared really feels the stretch now, a slight burn that makes his muscles clench up, and Jensen stops, waits for him to relax before he continues to push in._ _

__Jared makes a quiet, breathy noise and rocks his hips down onto Jensen's fingers, forcing them in deeper. The sensation of being filled, of Jensen fingering him open, is almost too good and Jared is glad Jensen already made him come once._ _

__Before long, Jensen pulls out and pushes up, tapping Jared's hip. "Roll over for me," he instructs._ _

__Jared does, eager for what's to come, and pushes himself up onto his hands and knees with muscles that already feel a little weak. He drops his head, moans when he feels Jensen's fingers slide back in, slippery with more lube. Jensen's touch is more efficient now, getting Jared slick and open, before he gets himself ready._ _

__Jared can't resist taking a peek over his shoulder then, watching Jensen—a little awkwardly—get his own underwear off. His cock is hard and flushed dark, bigger than Jared had imagined—and he had spent a lot of the last few weeks imagining, fantasizing about this moment. Anticipation coils deep in his belly and when Jensen's eyes meet his for a short moment, Jensen's are dark and blown wide._ _

__The short time it takes for Jensen to rip the condom packet open, roll it down his cock and slick himself up seems to drag on forever, but then Jensen positions himself and Jared feels the blunt head of his cock nudge against his entrance._ _

__There's a moment of resistance as Jensen starts pushing, and Jared wills himself to relax, gasping when Jensen finally presses in past the first ring of muscles. For the past few years it's only been Jared's own fingers and the occasional toy, and it hurts a little more than Jared remembers, but it's not a bad kind of pain._ _

__"Relax," Jensen murmurs, rubbing one hand over the small of Jared's back. "You feel so good, baby. You're so amazing."_ _

__The words send a different kind of warmth through Jared, making him feel good in a way nothing else ever has. He rocks back a little, takes Jensen in a little deeper, and rasps, "Move."_ _

__Jensen stills him with a hand on his hip and then starts working himself in deeper with small rolls of his hips, sinking in inch by inch. It's glorious and maddening at the same time, being filled so slowly until Jensen bottoms out._ _

__"Fuck, you're tight," Jensen hisses, voice rough and choked-off, and it sends a thrill through Jared._ _

__"Please," he mumbles, not sure what else to say, his brain having trouble forming any words at all. He's never felt this way, never felt so connected to someone, and the fact that this is Jensen, this is his soulmate, makes everything feels twice as amazing, as intense._ _

__Jensen grips his hips more tightly, pulls out and then thrusts back in slowly. Jared feels every inch of him, hard and big, stretching him wide and filling him completely, and the spark of pleasure as Jensen drags against his prostate makes him cry out._ _

__He drops his upper body down, buries his face in his arms. The next thrust is a little harder, and Jared moans wetly against his arm, pushing back into Jensen in a silent plea for more. Jensen seems to understand what Jared is asking for, because he grips Jared a little harder and starts fucking him in earnest then, long hard thrusts that make the bed thump against the wall._ _

__Each sweet slide of Jensen's dick against his prostate draws a noise from Jared and Jensen isn't any more quiet, grunts and moans falling from his lips along with Jared's name._ _

__"Baby, so close," he mumbles, his fingers flexing on Jared's hips, digging in hard enough to leave bruises. He thrusts in a little more erratically, like his control is slipping, and that only turns Jared on more._ _

__He reaches for himself, wraps his hand around his cock, and Jensen grunts. He shifts, wraps his arms around Jared and pulls him back._ _

__"Jensen," Jared cries out, splayed on Jensen's lap now. Jensen's cock is buried deep inside of him now, and he grinds up into him. His mouth closes over the place where Jared's shoulder curves into his neck and Jared throws one arm around him, holds him there as he spills all over his hand and stomach with a helpless cry._ _

__"God yes, baby, so pretty, coming for me," Jensen says, words smeared into Jared's skin, and he thrusts up sharply, jostling Jared a little, before he comes too. His movements slow down, become sloppy, before he stops, arms holding Jared tightly against him._ _

__Sated and happy, his head fuzzy with pleasure, Jared lets Jensen guide him down onto the mattress. He makes an unhappy noise when Jensen slips free, but feels utterly content when Jensen curls up behind him and wraps him up in his arms._ _

__*_ _

__Jensen runs his hand down Jared's stomach slowly, caressing, and nuzzles his neck. "Jay?" he asks, voice quiet._ _

__There's a tension in his voice that breaks through Jared's hazy bliss and he blinks his eyes open. The light in the room has become murky, the air a little cool without any sheets covering their naked bodies. "Yeah?" he asks._ _

__"I... I need to call Jeff," Jensen admits, guilt coloring his voice. "Let him know I'm staying the night."_ _

__"Oh," Jared breathes. He twists around in Jensen's arms and meets his eyes. "You don't have to. I mean, if you wanna go home..."_ _

__He trails off, not sure how to finish the sentence. He doesn't want to lie, doesn't want to pretend he'd be okay with Jensen leaving after they just had sex for the first time. Jensen hasn't spent the night after any of their dates so far and they never discussed it either, but he's pretty sure it would break his heart if Jensen up and left now._ _

__To his relief though, Jensen shakes his head and kisses his forehead. "No," he says. "I'm not gonna fuck you and leave, Jared. But I should at least give Jeff the heads up."_ _

__"Of course," Jared says._ _

__Jensen sighs, kisses the same spot as before once more and then slips out of bed. "Give me a couple of minutes, okay?" he asks._ _

__"Take all the time you need," Jared replies, even though he wants nothing more than to pull Jensen back down, to not let him go even if he's just going to be in the other room._ _

__Jensen pulls on his underwear and doesn't meet Jared's eyes as he pads out of the room. Jared waits until Jensen has quietly pulled the bedroom door shut behind him before he sighs and turns his back to the door._ _

__He pulls the sheets up over his body, curls his arm up under the pillow and stares at the wall while he waits for Jensen to come back._ _

__It doesn't take more than five minutes, but it feels like forever to Jared before he hears the door being eased open again. Jensen gets into bed with him wordlessly, slides under the sheets and presses up against Jared's back. He kisses Jared's shoulder, the back of his neck, and wraps an arm around him as he nudges one leg between Jared's._ _

__"I love you, you know that?" he murmurs, and Jared feels himself relax a little._ _

__"I love you, too," he says and rubs his hand over Jensen's arm comfortingly._ _

__*_ _

__Jared thinks their date—the sex and subsequent words that were said—should have been a turning point for their relationship. A step forward to cement what there is between them._ _

__In a way, it is. Jared feels more secure, more confident that Jensen wants this relationship and they will try as hard as they can to make this work._ _

__But there's no honeymoon phase. Things aren't perfect. It's more intense when they're together, but it's no easier than it was before. There's still tension and Jared feels like it's just getting thicker and thicker with every day._ _

__It makes him feel off-kilter, torn between happiness and confusion._ _

__*_ _

__Jared can tell something is going on when Jensen comes into his store just before closing time a couple of weeks later. They'd made plans to go out for dinner, maybe catch a movie afterwards, though Jared had secretly been hoping they'd just go back to his place instead._ _

__His excitement for their date vanishes as soon as he sees Jensen._ _

__"Hey," he greets. "Is everything okay?"_ _

__Jensen gives him a tight nod and leans up to kiss his cheek. "Everything's fine," he says, but Jared can tell it's a lie. He can feel the tension and nerves rolling off Jensen in waves._ _

__"Okay," he says though, not wanting to prod until they're alone at least. "Let me go find Gen and ask her to lock up and then we can head out."_ _

__Jensen nods and Jared presses a quick kiss to his lips before heading towards the back of the store where he knows Genevieve is. She agrees to lock up, even though she doesn't look overly pleased; he knows she still has mixed feelings about his relationship and for the first time in weeks he worries she might have a point._ _

__He grabs his wallet and keys from the back and then steers Jensen out of the store._ _

__"You wanna walk?" he asks. "The restaurant isn't too far."_ _

__"Actually," Jensen starts and licks his lips. "I was wondering if we could cancel the reservations and just head back to your place?"_ _

__Jared swallows thickly, worry settling heavily in his stomach. "Okay," he says, ducking his head down._ _

__Jensen's hand touching his makes him look up again to find Jensen looking at him with sad, soft eyes. "Jared, don't do that. Don't look like I'm about to break your heart."_ _

__"Are you?"_ _

__"No," Jensen says, exasperated and fond at the same time, and shakes his head. "I wanna talk about something. And it's not the kind of thing I wanna discuss in a crowded restaurant, but I'm not breaking up with you or anything like that if that's what you're thinking."_ _

__"Okay," Jared says and breathes a little easier._ _

__Jensen tangles their hands together, squeezes Jared's and gives him a small smile. "So, back to your place then?"_ _

__Jared nods._ _

__*_ _

__Jensen downs a glass of wine and then holds his glass out for a refill before they head for the couch. Jared tries not to let himself worry again, but there's a knot in his stomach anyway._ _

__They settle down side by side, and Jensen is silent for a few more moments before he snorts. "You know, I've had this conversation so many times in my head by now and I'm still not sure where to start."_ _

__"Just tell me," Jared says._ _

__Jensen sucks in a breath and then nods. "I think this arrangement you and Jeff and I have right now... maybe it's not working. Maybe we need to try something different."_ _

__"Different," Jared echoes, and this is doing nothing to ease his worries._ _

__Jensen meets his eyes, his expression pleading. "Can you really tell me you're happy with the way things are?"_ _

__"Yeah, sure," Jared says, maybe a little too quickly._ _

__"Jared," Jensen prompts._ _

__Jared ducks his head. "I mean, I'll take this over not having you," he admits and then looks up again. "What do you want me to say, Jensen? Do I wish things were different? Sure. But I don't see what else we can do, so if this is how things are going to be, I'm fine with it. As long as I don't lose you."_ _

__"Baby, I want you to be more than fine with things," Jensen says, and it breaks Jared's heart a little how pained he sounds. "Jeff's been telling me the same thing you have, but I know he's hurting every time I'm out with you. And it's tearing me apart. Whenever I'm with you, whenever we do anything, I feel like I'm cheating on Jeff. And when I'm with him I feel like I'm cheating on you."_ _

__"So what do you wanna do?" Jared asks softly._ _

__"This is gonna sound insane," Jensen starts. "Just hear me out, okay? You can say no; I don't ever want you to do something you're not comfortable with. But just... keep an open mind?"_ _

__"Okay," Jared agrees, and he has no idea where Jensen is going with this, but he can tell it's important to Jensen. And he doesn't want Jensen to feel bad about being with him or being with Jeff, so he knows whatever Jensen is going to suggest, there's a good chance he'll go along with it._ _

__"Okay," Jensen echoes. "So, I was thinking, maybe we should hang out. The three of us. You and Jeff should get to know each other, spend time together. So we can give this a shot, together, all three of us."_ _

__"You mean," Jared starts, his eyes widening as he tries to make sense of what Jensen is suggesting. "You mean together as in _together_?"_ _

__Jensen shrugs. "Would that be that weird?"_ _

__"Kinda," Jared admits._ _

__Jensen snorts. "Okay, yeah, but weirder than things already are?" he asks. "And I'm not saying you two should be intimate. You can, if you want to. I... I'm not gonna lie, that would be the best case scenario for me. But... I think you could be friends, at least. If it could be more, that's up to you. But there has to be a way for us to work this out that's easier for all of us."_ _

__Jared takes a couple of big gulps of his wine and then sets his glass aside, running a hand over his face. "Maybe, I don't know. I'm kinda confused right now," he says honestly. "Did you talk to Jeff about this?"_ _

__"Not yet," Jensen says. "I wanted to talk to you first. Mainly because I'm pretty sure I know how he'd feel about it, so I wanted to discuss it with you before I talk to him. I don't want to push you into anything you'd be uncomfortable with."_ _

__"You think he'd be on board?" Jared asks. "With, you know, all of _that_."_ _

__Jensen chews on his lower lip for a moment and Jared's eyes track the movement, the way Jensen's lip looks even pinker when he releases it._ _

__"Jeff is... he's a pretty easy-going guy. I think he'd have less hang-ups about that kinda thing than most people," he says._ _

__"That kinda thing," Jared repeats. "I'm not sure anyone else has ever been where we are. This is pretty out there."_ _

__"Maybe. Maybe not," Jensen agrees. "But it's not like couples never have threesomes. Jeff's been in one or two."_ _

__"He has?" Jared asks._ _

__"Before he met me," Jensen amends._ _

__"Oh," Jared says. "Two guys asked me once when I was out at a club. I... well, I kinda thought it was the weirdest thing ever. They were clearly bonded and I didn't get why they'd want to bring a third person into the mix, even just for one night, when they had each other."_ _

__"You weren't curious about what it would be like even a little bit?" Jensen asks, leaning in a little closer._ _

__Jared shrugs. "Maybe a little," he concedes. "Have you ever…?"_ _

__"No," Jensen says. "I thought it sounded kinda exciting when Jeff told me about it though. Maybe not in an 'I wanna do this' kinda way, but in theory."_ _

__"And you'd want that, with me _and_ Jeff? Really?"_ _

__"I'm not opposed to it. But like I said, we really don't have to do that. I just think it'd be easier if you two could be part of each other's lives," Jensen says and gives a little shrug. "I think you two would really like each other, if you got to know each other."_ _

__"Okay," Jared says and nods._ _

__"Okay?" Jensen repeats._ _

__Jared gives him a small, slightly unsure smile. "I guess, yeah. But no pressure, right?" he asks. "I can't make any promises."_ _

__"Of course not," Jensen soothes and leans in, kissing Jared softly. "Thank you, baby. I really think this will make things easier for us."_ _

__*_ _

__Ever since Jared met Genevieve their freshman year in college, he's shared pretty much everything with her. All of his fears and worries and problems. Even when he didn't feel like talking, like right after Jensen walked in and then right back out of his life, she always knew the basic gist of what was going on with him._ _

__He doesn't tell her about Jensen's suggestion though, nor that he's going to have dinner with both Jensen and Jeff when Jensen calls him to finalize plans a few days later. He's not really sure how she'd react. She might have been urging him to work things out with Jensen long term, but he isn't sure this is what she had in mind and he isn't really sure how he feels about it yet either._ _

__Jensen's suggestion still seems outrageous, and yet when he tries to imagine it he can't deny that it intrigues him a little. Jensen is his soulmate and Jared can't imagine loving anyone else, needing anyone else, but there's something about Jeff that's exciting. Maybe it's the fact that he's Jensen's soulmate, that they're both in this situation that's so unique and crazy, and it makes Jared feels a weird sense of kinship with him. And he means so much to Jensen that it's hard for Jared not to care, not to want Jeff to be happy when his happiness is so deeply entwined with Jensen's._ _

__And maybe there's something else there. Something Jared can't quite explain because he's never fantasized about threesomes before—never even considered the idea that sharing a soulmate with someone else could be hot—but now when he does think about it, alone under the shower the morning of the day Jensen has invited him over for dinner with him and Jeff, the idea makes his cock swell. Images race through his head as he slides his hand down his stomach and wraps it around his dick, and he comes picturing Jensen pressed between his and Jeff's naked bodies._ _

__*_ _

__"I'll go check on the lasagna," Jensen says, seconds after they've sat down on the patio, and jumps right back up. "You two sit back, relax. I'll be right back."_ _

__Jared's stomach knots up as Jensen vanishes into the house, but then Jeff lets out a laugh._ _

__"That was real smooth, huh?" he asks._ _

__Jared gives him a little grin. "It's, uh, kinda what you did when I was over for dinner last time," he says._ _

__Jeff snorts and nods. "Point," he admits and shakes his head. "Fucking weird, right? I never thought anything like this would happen, my soulmate trying to set me up with another guy."_ _

__Jared nods. "He seemed to think you'd be... well, maybe not _all for it_ , but at least okay with it."_ _

__"Mmm, guess that depends on your definition of okay," Jeff muses. "I've accepted that you're going to be part of Jensen's life. That he's going to love you as much as me. And regardless of how I feel about that, I can't help but be curious about you."_ _

__"Curious," Jared repeats._ _

__Jeff gives a small shrug, stretching his legs out. "Best way I can describe it. You're Jensen's bonded; it makes you pretty interesting if you ask me," he says. "You know, I think life's never easy. Relationships are never easy—even if we all like to think we'll meet our soulmate and everything will be smooth sailing from then on out, it never really happens that way in reality. I've seen a lot of shit in my life."_ _

__"You mean in your job?" Jared asks carefully._ _

__"Yeah, mostly. A bond doesn't guarantee happiness. Sometimes it doesn't even guarantee that you will like your soulmate, as much as you love them. It's a strange thing, really," Jeff says. "I don't think bonds are always a blessing. I mean, I love Jensen more than anything, but I got lucky. And I never expected things to be perfect between us."_ _

__"This is a bit more than _not perfect_ ," Jared argues. "It's... bizarre."_ _

__"Yeah, but sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches and make the most of things," Jeff replies. "We both love him. He loves both of us. And I don't know about you, but I'd rather work something out with you than hide in a bottle of whiskey whenever he's with you. And I don't want to resent you or wish bad upon you, because Jensen needs you as much as he needs me... and hell, I don't think I could resent you if I wanted to, Jared. I can't even explain why."_ _

__"Yeah," Jared says, nodding slowly. He doesn't think he could hate Jeff either. There's something fascinating about him and maybe it's the fact that they're both bonded to the same guy, like Jeff suggested. It doesn't explain why the thought of a threesome excites Jared so much, as much as it terrifies him. He thinks he should want Jensen all to himself._ _

__"We'll just play it by ear," Jeff adds, voice gentler. "There's no rulebook for us here. I don't know if Jensen's idea is any good, but it would make him happier than he is now and maybe it can make us happier, too. I think, maybe, the idea has its merits."_ _

__"Yeah, maybe," Jared agrees, his throat feeling dry._ _

__*_ _

__"The lasagna needs a bit more time," Jensen says, stepping out onto the patio._ _

__"Shocking," Jeff says. "Considering you only put it in the oven right before Jared got here."_ _

__Jared bites back a small smile at the glare Jensen directs at Jeff._ _

__"I thought we were done hiding things," Jeff says, more somberly. "All cards on the table."_ _

__Jensen slumps a little. "Fine. So, I wanted to give you two some time to talk."_ _

__"Well, we did," Jeff replies, his tone teasing once again._ _

__"And?"_ _

__"Nothing really," Jared interjects, deciding to take pity on Jensen. "We'll see."_ _

__"Fair enough," Jensen says._ _

__*_ _

__Dinner and a couple of glasses of wine help Jared loosen up a little. It's still a bit awkward, but not so much so that he feels uncomfortable._ _

__Jeff is a good guy. Jared isn't surprised, because from everything Jensen has told him about Jeff, Jared knows Jeff has a heart of gold. But it truly shows in the way he's welcoming Jared into his home, potentially even his bed; he involves Jared in the conversation, asks questions about his job, gives him kind smiles when other men in his shoes would send Jared glares._ _

__"Let's sit on the porch swing," Jeff suggests when they've cleared the table. Jensen nods and Jared follows both of them through the backyard, past the pool to a cluster of trees. There's a bench swing sitting under a large oak tree. They settle down, Jensen in the middle, and the swing sways under their combined weight._ _

__"Can I ask a favor?" Jeff asks._ _

__"Sure," Jensen says after meeting Jared's eyes._ _

__"I wanna watch you two kiss. I wanna know how I feel about that," Jeff says._ _

__Jared licks his lips, stomach fluttering at the words._ _

__"That okay with you, Jay?" Jensen asks._ _

__"Yeah," Jared says, nodding. He wants to—both because he loves kissing Jensen, has been aching to kiss him, be close to him, all day, and because he wants Jeff to watch them._ _

__Jensen gives him a soft smile and leans in, cupping Jared's face with one hand and drawing him in. He brushes their lips together softly, and Jared instinctively leans in, kisses Jensen more deeply. He slides one arm around Jensen's waist, fingers brushing against Jeff's leg and his heart speeds up in his chest. He's kissing Jensen and Jeff is right there with them. Jared wonders if he's shifted to get a better view, if he's watching closely as their mouths move together, Jensen's tongue coaxing Jared's lips apart._ _

__Jared moans softly, and Jensen pulls back then. It takes all of Jared's willpower not to chase his lips, draw him into another kiss. He feels flushed, excited, and a thrill goes through him when he realizes Jeff has leaned forward, eyes dark and focused on them._ _

__"So?" Jensen asks._ _

__Jeff smiles and licks his lips, leaning against the back of the swing. He grabs Jensen around the waist, pulls him against him. "Come here and let Jared watch," he murmurs._ _

__"Yeah," Jared agrees, voice thick._ _

__Jensen grins as he turns into Jeff, wrapped in his arms, and Jared watches their mouths meet halfway. It should be Jared's worst nightmare, seeing his soulmate with someone else, but the twist of his stomach has nothing to do with jealousy or pain. Jeff and Jensen fit together perfectly, the kiss slow but deep, and Jared is transfixed, soaking in the sight and every little noise they make._ _

__*_ _

__Jared goes home that night, despite Jensen telling him he could stay. He doesn't want to rush into this, even if their first—albeit chaste—foray into the three of them being together has been a success._ _

__Jared sees a lot more of both Jensen and Jeff over the next few weeks. It's easier, now that Jensen doesn't have to split up his time between them or keep any type of schedule._ _

__They have dinner together, hang out by the pool and watch movies. One of those nights ends with them making out on the couch, Jensen pressed between them. Jared kisses Jensen while Jeff trails kisses down Jensen's neck, arm wrapped around Jensen and his hand trapped between both Jensen and Jared's stomachs._ _

__All three of them are hard, panting and flushed, by the time they slow down, break apart. Jared almost stays that night, but he has to be at the store bright and early the next day._ _

__*_ _

__"Not nearly as good as mine," Jared declares, handing Jeff his ice cream cone back._ _

__"‘Cause it's not nearly as disgustingly sweet as yours, huh?" Jeff mocks._ _

__"Ice cream is supposed to be sweet," Jared argues and takes a lick of his pale pink and blue cotton candy ice cream._ _

__Jeff makes a disgusted noise and Jensen laughs._ _

__"I have no idea where you put it all."_ _

__"I'm a growing boy," Jared says._ _

__"God help us all," Jeff groans, wrapping his free arm around Jared, jostling him a little as he drags him against his side as they continue walking down the sidewalk._ _

__"Oh, he really is though. Quite the grower… and the shower," Jensen says, tone smug and suggestive._ _

__Jared flushes. "Jensen," he complains as Jeff chuckles._ _

__"Well, I think I need to see that for myself to believe it," he jokes, but there's a hint of heat in his voice._ _

__It's Saturday, meaning the bookshop is closed tomorrow, and Jared suddenly knows he doesn't want to spend the night alone in his own bed._ _

__"Why don't you take me home and I'll show you?" he suggests._ _

__*_ _

__All of Jared's fantasies about the three of them finally taking things further had been vague, never focusing on the mechanics of how this would work. He imagined Jensen pressed between them, thought about kissing and touching._ _

__Naked save for his boxer-briefs, standing in front of Jensen and Jeff, things are suddenly a lot more real and Jared bites his lower lip. He watches Jeff run his hands down Jensen's sides, stopping at his hips, as he nuzzles Jensen's neck, eyes meeting Jared's._ _

__"How are we…," Jared starts._ _

__"I wanna watch you two," Jeff says._ _

__Jensen twists his head back. "You sure?"_ _

__Jeff kisses him, then takes a step back. "Yeah," he says, voice low and sultry._ _

__Jensen nods and catches Jared around the hips, pulling him in. "You okay with that, too, baby?" he asks._ _

__"Yeah," Jared says, breath caught in his throat. He kisses Jensen, pours everything he feels into it. His excitement, his nerves, his arousal. It surprises even him, how much he wants this with Jeff there, with Jeff involved._ _

__"Get on the bed," Jensen murmurs, their mouths barely an inch apart._ _

__Jared licks his lips, hesitates for just a split second, before he pushes his underwear down. He steps out of it, eyes flitting to Jeff because he can't help but be curious about his reaction—smiling when he sees Jeff's gaze run up and down his body, interest clear—and then goes to sit on the bed, scooting back. Jensen strips out of his underwear as well and follows him, straddling Jared's lap and pushing him back._ _

__He leans over Jared, kisses him, his weight pinning Jared down. It feels familiar by now, his skin hot, their hard cocks trapped together between their stomachs. Jared moans into the kiss, lifting his hips up, and hears another moan echo through the room. Jeff's._ _

__Jensen cups the curves of his shoulders, squeezes, and then runs his hands slowly down Jared's arms as he breaks the kiss, kisses a trail down Jared's throat. The mattress dips and Jared turns his head, blinks as he watches Jeff settle down next to them. He's completely naked now too, cock thick and flushed and curved up against his stomach, eyes fixed on them._ _

__Jared gasps, eyes fluttering shut for a few moments, when Jensen bites at his pec. The image of Jeff watching them is seared into his brain, though, and it makes heat curl in his stomach. His cock is rock hard, smearing precome on their stomachs. Jared lets his legs fall open wider, planting his feet on the mattress to be able to grind up against Jensen more easily, as Jensen continues moving down. Jared looks down at his own chest, at the top of Jensen's head and his messy, light brown hair, as he kisses a path down to Jared's nipple. He takes Jared's right nipple between his lips, sucks at it and gets it wet with his tongue, sending sparks of pleasure through Jared._ _

__"Here," Jared hears Jeff say, and there's the snick of a bottle being uncapped. Jared bites down on his bottom lip to keep the excited moan in, not wanting to seem too eager._ _

__Jensen pushes off him, grinning, and grabs the lube from Jeff's outstretched hand. Jared meets Jeff's eyes, but there's still nothing but heat in his gaze. No jealousy, no discomfort._ _

__"Kiss him," Jensen murmurs and Jared isn't sure who he's talking to, but it doesn't matter. Because a second later Jeff leans over him, eyebrows raised in question, and Jared can only nod._ _

__He's never kissed Jeff. Jensen has always been the focus for both of them so far. There's been accidental, casual touches, a few intentional ones too, but no kissing. Jeff's beard tickles against his skin, but it's softer than Jared imagined, and he's less dominating than Jensen is, letting Jared push into it, deepen the kiss and set the pace._ _

__"Fuck, that's hot," Jensen says, his voice thick._ _

__Jeff's hand settles on his chest, warm and big, just as a slick and cold finger slides between Jared's cheeks. Jared groans against Jeff's lips, rocking his hips down against Jensen's finger. It catches against his rim, and it feels so good to be touched there, has been too long since they've last done this. Jensen only circles his hole a handful of times, spreading lube around, before he presses in, and Jared gasps, head falling back onto the pillow and breaking the kiss._ _

__"God," he pants._ _

__Jeff nuzzles his throat, presses a kiss there. He keeps it up, his mouth sliding over Jared's neck, his jaw, drawing him back into kisses as Jensen works him open with his fingers. Jared isn't sure why he's the one getting all the attention, always figured it would be Jensen, but it feels too good to complain—Jensen's mouth around his cock, his ass stuffed full of his fingers, the way Jeff brushes his thumb over Jared's nipple and bites at his mouth. It's heady and dirty and Jared wonders if this is something Jeff and Jensen have talked about. If this is something they've fantasized about, the two of them sharing Jared like this, and the thought makes liquid heat settle in Jared's stomach._ _

__Jeff doesn't pull off until Jared is prepped, and then Jensen fills his space instead. He leans over Jared, kisses him rough and dirty and presses him down into the mattress as he starts pushing into him._ _

__Jared mewls into the kiss, curls his legs tightly around Jensen and pulls him in deeper. He can hear Jeff's ragged breathing next to them, the wet slide of skin on skin, and Jared's head is spinning with all the different sensations and emotions rushing through him. He feels stretched wide around Jensen, the pleasure and the burn of the intrusion setting every single nerve end inside of him on fire._ _

__When Jensen bottoms out, he breaks the kiss and Jared clutches at his shoulders, holds on to him tightly. Jensen shifts, changes the angle a little, and then draws out a few inches only to thrust right back into Jared. He doesn't let up after that, fucks Jared with easy, deep rolls of his hips, his eyes dark and mouth parted around soft moans._ _

__Jared doesn't last very long._ _

__It's too much—having Jensen on top of him, thrusting into him, while Jeff is jerking off next to them—and there's something so debauched about what they're doing, so filthy and forbidden, that Jared feels dizzy with arousal._ _

__He comes with a cry, head tossed back and eyes screwed shut as his body goes taut. He feels Jensen's thrusts stutter, hears his broken groan through the waves of pleasure crashing over him, knows Jensen isn't far behind._ _

__Mind foggy, his muscles feeling like jelly, Jared lets out a disappointed sigh when he feels Jensen pull out of him. A soft, sloppy kiss is pressed to his lips and then Jensen's weight lifts off him._ _

__Jared licks his lips, chest heaving, and turns his head to watch Jensen slide between Jeff's legs. He watches Jensen push him down by the hips, Jeff's cock still hard and flushed dark. Jared moans softly as Jensen wraps a hand around Jeff and seals his lips around him._ _

__If Jared hadn't just come, he'd get hard again watching Jensen swallow Jeff down, Jeff's hands sliding into Jensen's hair. As it is, Jared feels his stomach clench with arousal and he's unable to tear his eyes away from the sight of Jensen sucking Jeff off next to him._ _

__*_ _

__Jared wakes up to soft kisses and fingers carding gently through his hair._ _

__"Morning," Jensen murmurs as Jared blinks his eyes open._ _

__Jared's lips curve into a smile automatically, feeling calm and safe and well-rested. He shuffles even closer, brushes their lips together. "Morning," he replies, his voice a little rough with sleep._ _

__He lifts his head, peering over Jensen's shoulder to the empty space behind him where Jeff slept. "Where's Jeff?" he asks and drops his head back down onto the pillow._ _

__"Making breakfast," Jensen says. "He always does on Sunday mornings."_ _

__"Hmmm, nice," Jared mumbles. He shifts so he can tuck his head under Jensen's chin, sliding his arms around him._ _

__"How are you feeling?" Jensen asks, words spoken into Jared's unruly hair and followed up by a kiss._ _

__Jared smiles against Jensen's collarbone, wiggles around a little. He's definitely feeling last night, the familiar soreness making his stomach clench with a wave of want. "'m good," he murmurs against Jensen's skin._ _

__"Yeah? Last night was okay?"_ _

__"More than," Jared replies, his smile getting a little wider. He tips his head back and pushes away a little so he can look at Jensen. "For you, too?"_ _

__Jensen grins at him. "Yeah," he says._ _

__"And for Jeff?" Jared presses on, and he hears the hint of worry that seeps into his voice._ _

__"For Jeff, too," Jensen assures him. He curves one hand over Jared's cheek, rubs his thumb over his skin, his expression getting a little softer. "You know, you're exactly his type."_ _

__"What?" Jared asks. "No, I'm not. You are."_ _

__"No. I mean, _yeah_. But that's not what a bond is about, or at least that's just a tiny part of it," Jensen says. "But I know what kind of guys he thinks are attractive."_ _

__"So he likes gangly and awkward?" Jared jokes._ _

__Jensen chuckles. "He likes tall," he says and kisses Jared chastely, "and pretty," he kisses Jared again, "and sweet."_ _

__"Does it bother you?"_ _

__"Why would it? Being bonded doesn't mean you're blind, Jay; you can still find other people attractive," Jensen says. "And I wouldn't have asked Jeff and you for the three of us to be together if I didn't think you guys would enjoy it. I want you two to like each other."_ _

__"I still think this is insane," Jared admits._ _

__Jensen hums. He slides his hand up, lets his fingers trail over Jared's temple. "You're not freaking out though, right?"_ _

__"No," Jared says. "I think I should be. But no."_ _

__*_ _

__Jeff has just finished setting the table on the patio when Jensen and Jared make it downstairs, freshly showered and dressed. Jeff pulls Jensen into a kiss and then he turns to Jared and kisses him, too—it's a lot more chaste, a friendly peck more than anything else._ _

__"Morning, Jeff," Jared says, ducking his head a little, and from the corner of his eyes he can see Jensen beaming at them._ _

__*_ _

__Spending the night together changes something between the three of them. There'd still been an air of tentativeness between them before, the three of them testing the waters. Spending time together and making out had been innocent enough that Jared feels like they hadn't taken the final step and really committed to giving this a shot just yet._ _

__They've crossed a line now that they can't uncross and Jared is glad for it. He feels a bit freer now, more secure in not just what he and Jensen have, but what the three of them have. What they're building together._ _

__Unique and unusual as it is, over the next few weeks Jared realizes more and more that it works for him. That he's happy with their arrangement, feels comfortable being in a relationship not just with Jensen but with Jeff as well._ _

__And the sex, well, the sex is something else. There's something thrilling, titillating, about being with two guys instead of just one. But unconventional as it is, the more nights Jared spends with Jensen and Jeff, the more normal it starts to feel._ _

__Jensen is usually in the middle or with one of them while the other watches, but then one night Jensen asks if he can be the one watching them this time and Jared doesn't have to think about it much before agreeing. Jeff might not be his bonded, but he's hot and Jared likes him, cares for him, and—as it turns out—he's more than amazing in bed, too._ _

__He fucks Jared deep and slow, leaving finger-shaped bruises on his hips and a hickey on his collarbone. And afterwards, Jensen presses up behind him and slides into him, filling the emptiness Jeff left behind again, and closes his teeth around the hickey Jeff sucked into his skin, and Jared has never felt more well-fucked and sated in his life._ _

__*_ _

__It takes Jared close to two months before he works up the courage to tell Genevieve about his relationship with Jeff and Jensen. She knows he's been spending some time with Jeff as well as Jensen and he knows she thinks it's weird. He's not sure if admitting that it's more than that is going to make things weirder for her or more understandable. But it's not something he wants to hide—he's starting to feel comfortable in his relationship, _happy_ in a way he wasn't for so damn long._ _

__It's a quiet afternoon at the store, barely any customers coming in, and Jared leaves Osric to handle the register on his own while he asks Gen if they can talk._ _

__"I don't understand," is the first thing she says when Jared has filled her in on everything. She sounds hesitant, guarded. "Jeff isn't your bonded."_ _

__"Yeah, I know. But… it's complicated, I guess," he admits. "He's Jensen's soulmate, so he's important to me."_ _

__"I know that," Genevieve says. "But being involved with him? I mean, I can't imagine ever being with anyone else but Tom. Just thinking about it feels… wrong."_ _

__Jared blows out a breath and shrugs. "So just because you feel that way, I have to feel that way too?" he asks, letting the hurt he feels at the statement color his voice._ _

__"Okay, no," Genevieve says. "But it's not… well, it's not exactly normal. You're supposed to have a bonded and that's it."_ _

__"Yeah, well, normal rules don't exactly apply to us, do they?" Jared asks. "Things are already so different. But the three of us being together actually makes it _better_. Makes it feel less weird for me."_ _

__"And you're happy?"_ _

__"Yeah," Jared says._ _

__"Well, I guess that's what's important, right?" Genevieve asks tentatively. "I don't get it, but I'm glad you're happy at least."_ _

__"Thanks, Gen," Jared says, smiling a little._ _

__Genevieve nods and then snorts. "Well, I did tell you to think about how this could work out long term and you guys did," she jokes. "I have to be honest, I really didn't think it could work."_ _

__"Yeah, guess we figured out the impossible," Jared replies._ _

__"And you think it is? Long term, I mean?"_ _

__Jared rolls his lower lip between his teeth and then nods. "I think so. I hope so," he confesses._ _

__*_ _

__"What are you doing here?" Jared asks when Jeff strides up to the register._ _

__Jeff grins at him and holds up a brown paper bag and a tray with two coffees. "I was in the area and I thought I'd drop in and we could have lunch," he says. "Can you take a break?"_ _

__Jared nods. "I was going to take one in a few anyway," he says and then glances at Genevieve who is hovering nearby, watching them closely. "Gen?"_ _

__"I got it, boss," she says._ _

__Jared nods and steps around the counter. He smiles when he gets close to Jeff and Jeff leans in, pecking him on the mouth._ _

__"Hey, Jay," he murmurs._ _

__"Hey," Jared replies, ducking his head a little to hide his smile. He takes the tray with the drinks from Jeff. "Where did you want to go?"_ _

__"The park down the block? It looked nice," Jeff says._ _

__Jared nods in agreement and their shoulders brush together as they head for the door._ _

__"What were you doing around here?" he asks as they cross the street._ _

__"I had a meeting a few blocks away from here," Jeff says and pulls a face. "It was a fucking snooze-fest."_ _

__"Yeah?" Jared asks with a laugh._ _

__"You have no idea," Jeff says. "But at least I didn't have to do more than nod and throw in a 'yes' and 'okay, great' every now and then. I had plenty of time to tune out and make plans for the weekend instead."_ _

__"What did you come up with?" Jared asks, dodging the couple passing them on the sidewalk. Jeff curls his free hand around Jared's elbow, pulls him a little closer against his side._ _

__"There's a gallery downtown that just opened a new exhibition that I wanted to check out. I was thinking we could go there tomorrow and then grab dinner somewhere," he says. "My treat."_ _

__"Well, I'm not gonna say no to that," Jared agrees._ _

__"Hmmm. And since it's hot as balls today, I was thinking we should just hang out by the pool and fire up the barbeque tonight," Jeff continues._ _

__Jared nods and follows Jeff through the gate into the park. They find an empty bench and Jeff puts the food down between them before stripping out of his suit jacket and tugging his tie loose._ _

__"You want burgers tonight? Steaks?" he asks and pulls a sandwich out of the bag, handing it to Jared. "I'm gonna leave the office a bit earlier and get groceries."_ _

__"Burgers sound good," Jared agrees, taking the sandwich. "Thanks."_ _

__"Welcome," Jeff says. "You're gonna come over right after you close up, right?"_ _

__Jared nods and takes a bite, chewing and swallowing before he speaks. "I'll just need to drop by my place and get a change of clothes and my swimming trunks."_ _

__"Jen and I are just gonna strip you out of those again right away, so why bother?" Jeff replies, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively._ _

__Jared laughs, even though the words and the mental image send a thrill through him. "Well, clothes at least."_ _

__"Hmm, yeah. Maybe bring a few more and we can clear out a drawer for you this weekend," Jeff suggests. He says it casually, like it's no big deal, but Jared gapes at him, his heart flipping in his chest._ _

__"Uh, seriously?" he manages. "Did you discuss that with Jensen?"_ _

__Jeff gives him an amused little grin. "You're over at our house all the time, Jay. It makes sense to keep a few changes of clothes there," he says, shrugging. "It's not like I asked you to move in. I'll leave that to Jensen, don't worry—he'll probably want to make a big deal out of it, give you a sappy speech and everything."_ _

__"Oh, like you're not as much of a sap," Jared shoots back, biting back a grin. He wonders if that's something that's going to happen in the near future, if that's something Jensen wants, Jared moving in with them._ _

__"Nah, I'm tough as nails and manly as hell," Jeff says, puffing out his chest, but the words are followed up by a laugh that sounds closer to a giggle than anything else._ _

__"Right," Jared grins._ _

__*_ _

__Jared lets his feet dangle in the water, watching Jeff and Jensen wrestle in the pool playfully. The stone tiles are hot under his naked ass, the late afternoon sun still beating down on them, and Jared can feel his wet hair already starting to dry again, the dampness on his skin more sweat than water by now._ _

__He's feeling almost uncomfortably hot and it's making him feel lazy, a bit drowsy. His cock is half-hard, laying against his thigh. He's been half-hard since they all stripped naked and got into the pool and Jared thinks it's maybe time to do something about it._ _

__He pushes himself off the side of the pool and back down into the water, sighing at how nice and cool it feels on his heated skin._ _

__"You going to help me?" Jeff calls out. Jensen is clinging to his back, arms wrapped around Jeff's neck, grinning widely. "I seem to have a limpet stuck to me."_ _

__"I'll have you know there's nothing limp about me," Jensen replies, and nips at Jeff's ear. Jeff laughs, the sound echoing loudly through the backyard._ _

__"Same here," Jared quips, swimming closer until he's right in front of them._ _

__Jensen grins at him over Jeff's shoulder and slides a hand under the water. "Hmm, nothing limp here either," he says and Jeff groans, tipping his head back._ _

__Jared moves in closer, pressing up against Jeff in the water. His cock slides up against Jeff's and he feels Jensen's hand too, stroking Jeff slowly._ _

__"Fuck, guys," Jeff hisses, slipping one arm around Jared's hips and pulling his closer._ _

__"Think you two can manage not to drown us all if I jerk you both off?" Jensen asks and then closes his hand around both of them before they can answer. Jared can't manage more than a moan in return._ _

__*_ _

__Jared has a spring in his step when he heads back to work on Monday._ _

__He has a drawer filled with his clothes at Jensen and Jeff's house now, his shampoo and conditioner in the shower and his toothbrush sitting in the cup with Jeff and Jensen's._ _

__It's funny, looking back at his life now and realizing how much he was missing. He was doing okay, he was content, but he's so much _happier_ now. _ _

__Genevieve grins at him when Jared greets her with a wide smile and a loud, "Good morning!" when she comes in._ _

__"Someone is happy," she notes._ _

__"Someone is," Jared agrees._ _

__*_ _

__Jared knows life is never easy. His has been messy and complicated too many times._ _

__He feels like he finally caught a break now—but that's exactly all it is. A break._ _

__He gets an uneasy feeling the moment his mother calls him after work one day and talks him into joining his dad and her for dinner the next day._ _

__Jared loves his family, but his relationship with his parents has been a bit strained for years now. His lack of a soulmate used to be something that came up at every family get-together, and it made Jared lash out more than once when he was younger. For a while, his mother tried to set him up with every son and daughter of her friends who had not yet met their bonded, claiming that just because Jared didn't feel a bond didn't mean he didn't have a soulmate and sooner or later someone would click. For a while, Jared had hoped she was right, but his enthusiasm for dating faded with time and his mother's frustration grew. And the older Jared got, the more people talked and the more she started having problems with Jared's lack of a bond._ _

__Part of Jared knows it can't have been easy for his parents when everyone started talking about him—the Padalecki kid who didn't have a soulmate, who was _different_ —but it was a lot harder for him and there were days when he felt like they were leaving him alone with his lot in life._ _

__It hasn't ruined their relationship, but it's definitely made it a bit difficult._ _

__But Jared knows sooner or later he has to see his parents again, that he'll have to tell them about Jensen and Jeff, because they might live a good hour outside of Austin, but it'll get back to them somehow anyway. Jensen, Jeff and he aren't flaunting their relationship in public, but they're not hiding either._ _

__So Jared finally relents when his mother tells him he hasn't come to see them in way too long and how much more regularly his siblings drop by._ _

__By the time he drives up his parents' driveway, he still hasn't made up his mind if he'll tell them about Jensen—or Jeff. His mother notices something is going on right away, of course._ _

__"You seem fidgety," she notes as they all sit down for dinner._ _

__"Just got a lot on my mind," Jared replies._ _

__His mother looks at him sharply for a few moments, then hums and nods._ _

__"How is the store doing?" his father asks._ _

__"Good. Fine," Jared says, taking a sip of his drink._ _

__"Hmm, I hear book sales are really going down everywhere," his mother says. "Nobody reads anymore these days."_ _

__"Sales are okay," Jared stresses, a bit testily._ _

__His mother reaches out, pats his hand. "I didn't mean to imply otherwise, honey. I just worry. If you ever lose the store, well… it's your whole life. I worry what you'll do if it stops being profitable."_ _

__"It's not my whole life," Jared replies._ _

__His mother raises her eyebrows and picks up her glass._ _

__And maybe a few months ago she would have been right. Work had been his main focus, something he threw himself into. But things are different now. Jared loves his job, but it's not the only thing he has going for him anymore. It's not the only thing that brings him happiness. And he suddenly can't keep it to himself anymore that he's not poor, lonely Jared anymore—the weird kid who doesn't have a bonded._ _

__"I'm seeing someone," he says, voice firm even though he doesn't feel quite as confident as he sounds. "I met my bonded."_ _

__"You… Jared? Since when? Why didn't you tell us?" his mother asks. "That's amazing news, Jared! When did you meet."_ _

__"A while ago," Jared admits. "It's complicated."_ _

__"Complicated?" his mother repeats, looking puzzled. She looks at Jared's father and Jared knows they're having one of those silent conversations that he and his siblings were never able to decipher._ _

__"Yeah," Jared says and clears his throat. "He's… well, he's already bonded to someone else."_ _

__The silence that follows is heavy, tense._ _

__"Come again?" his father finally asks._ _

__"He's bonded to both me and someone else," Jared says, taking in a slow, steady breath, steeling himself for his parents' reaction._ _

__"Jared. Sweetheart, that's impossible," his mother says slowly. "Clearly there's a mistake."_ _

__Jared shakes his head. "No. It's weird, I know, but not having a bonded is just as weird, right?"_ _

__"Jared, you can't be seeing a man who is already bonded. It doesn't matter if you think he is your bonded, too. That's just not done," his father stresses. "He's already in a relationship."_ _

__"We're working things out, the three of us. It's _fine_ ," Jared says, clenching his hands into fists on the table. _ _

__"You can't try to steal someone's soulmate, Jared. That's… please tell me you're not serious. That you wouldn't do that," his mother says, her tone pleading._ _

__And Jared thinks, to hell with it—his parents are already disapproving and he might as well tell them the whole truth. "I'm not stealing him away," he says. "We're seeing each other. All three of us."_ _

__"All three," his mother repeats, sounding as if Jared just told her the world is ending._ _

__"Have you lost your mind, Jared?" his father explodes._ _

__Jared presses his lips together, shakes his head. "I'm happy with them."_ _

__"You're ruining two people's lives by inserting yourself into their relationship!" his mother says harshly. "Jesus Christ, Jared. How can you do that?"_ _

__Jared swallows thickly and then pushes his chair back, standing up. "Thanks for dinner," he says and leaves without another word._ _

__*_ _

__His mother's words refuse to leave him._ _

__He'd been so sure in his feelings, his relationship. Had been convinced he had finally found happiness, that his life was on the right track. But his mother's words make doubt start to creep in again, make worry settle heavily in his stomach._ _

__What if he is ruining Jensen and Jeff's lives? What if he should have stayed away instead; maybe Jensen would have gotten over him, would have moved on and been happy with what he already had And Jeff—what is Jeff getting out of this whole thing? A guy who isn't his bonded, but who his soulmate is in love with?_ _

__And if things go south, then Jared _is_ the one who pushed himself into an already existing relationship. Who fucked up a bonded pair._ _

__Halfway home, Jared has to pull over to the side of the road, because his vision is so blurry with tears that he can barely see the road in front of him._ _

__*_ _

__Jared wakes up with a queasy stomach and a heavy heart._ _

__He barely talks to anyone at work, feeling like he's on the verge of breaking. For lunch, he doesn't manage more than a few bites even though his stomach is churning with hunger since he didn't have a bite to eat at dinner the night before._ _

__A few hours before closing he finally gives up and asks Genevieve and Osric if they can handle the store for the rest of the day._ _

__"What's wrong?" Genevieve asks. "Are you sick?"_ _

__Jared is glad for the excuse she's handing him on a silver platter and nods. "Yeah, I must have caught something," he lies._ _

__"Okay. Do you need anything?"_ _

__"It's okay. I just want to go lie down," he says, shaking his head._ _

__For a few moments after he leaves the store, Jared thinks about doing just that. About hiding in his apartment and crawling into bed. His heart wants to be somewhere else though. So Jared gets into his car and makes the short drive to Jensen and Jeff's house._ _

__It's early afternoon, so they should both be at work and Jared doesn't have a key, but their place feels more like home than his own apartment these days._ _

__His eyes are starting to burn as he turns onto their street and the first tear slips out as he stops outside the house, killing the engine._ _

__What if he's ruining their lives?_ _

__Jared sucks in a wet, choked breath and rests his head on the steering wheel, trying hard not to sob._ _

__He stays like that, his neck starting to ache a little, and he jumps up when there's a sudden knock on the window._ _

__Jeff is standing there, bent down and looking at him with worry._ _

__Jared feels his lower lip wobble, his heart squeezing in his chest._ _

__"Jared?" Jeff calls out._ _

__Jared opens the door and gets out, his legs shaky._ _

__"What's wrong?" Jeff asks. "Sweetheart, what's going on? What happened?"_ _

__Jared can't get any words out, so he just lets Jeff pull him into his arms, hold him close and make shushing noises while stroking his hair with one hand._ _

__"Let's get you inside, huh?" Jeff suggests after a few moments, and Jared has to force himself to let go, to take a step back._ _

__Jeff closes the car door, locks it for him, and then curls his arm around Jared's waist and leads him inside. He's rubbing his thumb in small, soothing circles over Jared's hipbone and Jared feels a little better just being close to him, a little calmer now that he's here._ _

__"Why are you at home?" he asks as Jeff leads them into the kitchen._ _

__"The washing machine broke last night, so someone came in to fix it earlier," Jeff says, gently pushing Jared down onto one of the chairs at the counter. "I had a lot of paperwork to do anyway, so I decided to work from home today."_ _

__He goes to fill a glass with water and hands it to Jared. "Here," he says. "Drink this."_ _

__"Thanks," Jared says quietly._ _

__"Tell me what's going on, Jared," Jeff prods. "You're really making me worry here, sweetheart."_ _

__Jared looks down at the glass in his hand. "I had dinner with my parents last night."_ _

__He glances up at Jeff, sees him wince._ _

__"That bad?" Jeff asks._ _

__Jared sucks his lower lip between his teeth, bites down onto the flesh and lets the flash of pain distract him a few short moments. "Am I ruining your life?" he asks, his voice breaking._ _

__"Is that what they said?" Jeff wants to know. He moves to stand directly in front of Jared, cupping his face in both hands and tipping Jared's head back, making him look up at him. "Jared, don't listen to them. Don't listen to anyone but me and Jensen. The three of us—we're the only ones who know what's going on between us. Who have a say in what this is."_ _

__Jared tries to give him a smile and nods weakly. "I don't want to hurt you or Jensen. Ever," he says. "You should hate me, Jeff."_ _

__Jeff smiles at him, soft and sweet. "How could I ever hate you?" he murmurs and leans in, brushing their mouths together._ _

__*_ _

__Jared finishes the water and Jeff wipes the remnants of the tears away from under his eyes before he takes Jared's hand into his and leads him upstairs to the bedroom._ _

__Jared feels exhausted, more mentally than physically, and his brain is still going a million miles an hour. He feels better, but the tightness in his chest hasn't eased completely and his eyes feel gritty._ _

__They get onto the bed together and it's not until Jeff pulls him close and kisses him that Jared realizes where this is going. There's a tiny niggling voice in his head, telling him that maybe they shouldn't do this without Jensen. They never have. Jensen is both of their bonded soulmate after all, the one that brings them all together. But Jared wants this, _needs_ this. He wants Jeff to make him forget about his doubts and fears, wants Jeff to want him, to stake his claim on Jared and make him belong to Jeff as much as he belongs to Jensen. _ _

__The intensity of how he feels, the urgency suddenly rushing through him, makes Jared almost lose his breath. He kisses Jeff back almost frantically, keening into his mouth when Jeff slides a hand under his t-shirt and presses their bodies together._ _

__His touch is slow, sure, and it makes Jared calm down and yet turns him on the same time. There's something about the way Jeff touches him, the way he slides his hands over Jared's skin, smoothing them down his back and palming his ass, that lights up a fire inside of Jared._ _

__"Jeff," he murmurs, and Jeff hums. He nudges Jared over onto his back and follows him, settling down on top of him._ _

__They continue kissing until they're both breathless, only stopping to strip out of piece after piece of clothing until they're both naked, bodies rocking together, their hard cocks trapped between their stomachs._ _

__Jeff breaks away eventually, both of them breathing hard, and searches Jared's face for a moment. "What do you want, Jay?" he asks._ _

__Jared licks his lips and then rocks up. "Anything," he says, his brain too hazy to form a better answer._ _

__Jeff chuckles softly and cards his fingers through Jared's hair. He presses a quick, firm kiss to his lips. "I wanna eat that pretty little ass of yours out, baby," he whispers and nips at Jared's jaw. "Wanna bury my face between your legs and make you scream."_ _

__The words punch a needy, choked-off sound out of Jared and he nods his head. "Fuck yeah. That. Do that," he says._ _

__Jeff nuzzles his neck, kisses the spot under Jared's ear that makes him gasp quietly and then pushes himself up and off him. "Turn around, baby," he says._ _

__Jared complies eagerly, flipping over. Jeff grabs one of the pillows and Jared lifts his hips when Jeff pats his side, lets him push it underneath him, and spreads his legs wider when Jeff settles between them._ _

__He moans softly when Jeff kisses the small of his back, his beard scratching against the swell of Jared's ass. Jeff laughs softly, the sound vibrating against Jared's skin, and Jared blushes and smiles at the same time._ _

__"Shut up," he mumbles._ _

__"Aww, sweetheart. I love how responsive you are," Jeff soothes. He presses his lips to the top of Jared's crack and then his thumbs slide between his cheeks, spreading them open. Jared feels his face heat up even more and he buries it in his arms, shuddering when Jeff licks a broad stripe up his crack._ _

__He licks around Jared's hole, his tongue wet and hot, and each touch sends bursts of pleasure through Jared. He moans, tilting his ass back and he doesn't even care how needy it makes him look. Jeff hums, squeezing his cheeks, and keeps going. He licks and kisses and sucks at Jared's hole, his beard against Jared's sensitive skin making the whole thing that much better._ _

__By the time he works his tongue into Jared, Jared is writhing, moans and gasps spilling freely from his mouth. He's wet with Jeff's spit, already way too close to coming apart, his body trembling with pleasure._ _

__He whines when Jeff pulls back a little, arching up in an attempt to follow him._ _

__"Hold yourself open for me," Jeff says and Jared reaches back, doing as he's asked eagerly._ _

__Jeff dives back in then, drags his flat tongue over Jared's hole, and then teases it around the rim._ _

__"Please," Jared begs. "Want you in me, Jeff."_ _

__Jeff palms Jared's ass roughly, kneading the flesh, and fucks his tongue in and out of Jared a few times. He gets him all loose and wet, makes Jared moan his name. Jeff slides a finger between his cheeks then, rubs it against Jared's rim and then slides it in alongside his tongue slowly, presses in deeper. The spit eases the way, but it's not the same as lube and Jared feels himself clenching up._ _

__Jeff stills and lifts his head, kisses Jared's fingers._ _

__"Relax, baby," he murmurs, and Jared takes a slow, calming breath. "That's it, sweetheart. Just like that."_ _

__Jeff works his fingers in and out a few times, carefully and slowly, and Jared rocks back._ _

__"Feels good," he gasps. "Give me a second, Jeff."_ _

__"Yeah, okay," Jeff says, but he pulls out completely. "I need to get the lube, Jay."_ _

__The stupid, horny part of Jared wants to tell him to screw the lube, to just give him more already and fill him up, because even those few seconds it takes for Jeff to grab the bottle feel too damn long._ _

__When Jeff finally slides slick, cold fingers between his cheeks again and presses two into him, Jared moans loudly and spreads his legs wider._ _

__"Oh _fuck_ ," he cries when Jeff presses up against his prostate, rubbing over it. "Fuck, Jeff."_ _

__"Don't come yet," Jeff says, with a short, soft laugh._ _

__"Don't do that then," Jared grits out._ _

__"Sorry," Jeff says, not sounding sorry at all. But he lets up on the pressure against Jared's prostate and goes back to working him open instead, working his fingers in and out, scissoring them, and finally adding a third finger._ _

__He pulls them out and Jared's stomach twists with anticipation._ _

__"You wanna stay like this?" Jeff asks, voice gruff, turned on._ _

__Jared doesn't really care as long as Jeff gets inside of him, but then he thinks about it for a split second and shakes his head. He pushes himself up into his knees, flushing a little at how clumsy his movements are, and twists around. Jeff is looking at him with raised eyebrows, damp hair sticking to his forehead, looking debauched as hell already. Jared kisses him and then pushes Jeff down onto the mattress, crawling on top of him._ _

__"Yeah?" he asks as he breaks the kiss, shifting to straddle Jeff._ _

__"Oh fuck, yeah," Jeff replies._ _

__Jared grins and Jeff presses a condom into his hands._ _

__Jared fumbles a little with the packet as he rips it open, but he finally gets the condom out and holds Jeff's dick in place with one hand and rolls it down him. Jeff moans, hand patting around the sheets._ _

__"Lube, Jay," he says._ _

__"Got it," Jared says, spying the tube. He grabs it and slicks Jeff up quickly, before holding him steady with one hand and lifting himself up above him._ _

__Jeff grabs his thighs just underneath his hips, squeezes, and Jared lowers himself. He feels the tip of Jeff's dick slide between his cheeks, shifts until it catches at his rim, and then sinks right down onto it._ _

__"Oh shit, baby," Jeff grunts._ _

__He's thick, stretching Jared wide open, and the burn makes his whole body tremble with how good it is. He feels himself clench around Jeff, adjust to the size of him, and he gives himself a few moments before he lifts up a little and sinks back down._ _

__He lets his hands drop to Jeff's waist, uses his legs to do all of the work as he starts fucking himself on Jeff. Jeff grabs him by the hips, moaning, and grinds up into him, matching his thrusts to Jared's._ _

__Their moans and gasps fill the room, and Jared lets himself get lost in the pleasure. Forgets about everything but this and how good it feels, how right._ _

__He rides Jeff until his thighs are burning and his balls are too tight and the pleasure is swirling inside of him like hot, molten lava. He comes with a wet, breathy cry, spilling over both of their stomachs._ _

__Jeff grips him more tightly then, hard enough to hurt a little and Jared moans, knowing he'll have bruises tomorrow and that just makes him tremble harder, his stomach swooping. Jeff rocks up into him, bounces Jared up and down on his lap, and Jared's pleasure almost tips over into too much, his body too sensitive from the orgasm, when Jeff comes with a moan of Jared's name._ _

__*_ _

__Jeff gathers him close after cleaning both of them up, pushes sweaty bangs off Jared's forehead and kisses his temple._ _

__"Better?" he murmurs._ _

__Jared can only hum in reply, snuggling deeper into Jeff's warmth even though the room feels too warm, his skin too hot._ _

__He's drifting off when he hears Jeff whisper, "I love you," but his brain is too fuzzy to really make sense of the words._ _

__*_ _

__When Jared wakes up the next time, Jensen is standing in the doorway, looking at them._ _

__Jared doesn't think he's been out for very long and he's suddenly wide awake._ _

__"Did I miss something?" Jensen asks, and Jared pushes himself up and out of Jeff's arms. Jeff makes a protesting, unhappy sound._ _

__"It's not…" Jared starts, but doesn't finish the sentence. _It's not what you think?_ It would be a lie. It's exactly what Jensen thinks and Jared's stomach churns painfully at the thought that this was a mistake, that they shouldn't have done this with Jensen not at home. _ _

__They had sex without Jensen knowing and somehow it feels like they went behind his back. It's not something they ever talked about, nothing they ever agreed they could do. Him and Jensen? Sure. Jensen and Jeff? Of course. But Jeff and Jared aren't bonded and the thought feels painful for entirely different reasons._ _

__Jeff groans and sits up too, his warm body close to Jared. "You look like you've seen a ghost, Jay," he teases, but his voice is a little concerned._ _

__Jensen pushes away from the doorway and steps into the room. He kneels on the mattress and leans forward, tucks strands of hair behind Jared's ear._ _

__"What's going on?" he asks softly. "Shouldn't you still be at work?"_ _

__The whole day, the dinner the night before, comes back to him then and Jared shrugs._ _

__"Been a bit of a rough day," Jeff says and slides a hand around Jared's waist, settling it on his hip._ _

__"I told my parents about us. It didn't really go that well," Jared explains._ _

__"Oh jesus, Jared. I'm sorry," Jensen murmurs. "Are you okay?"_ _

__"Better now. Jeff helped," Jared says and then winces. "Sorry if we shouldn't have. You know. Without you here."_ _

__Jensen's eyes widen a little and Jeff snorts._ _

__"You think we're not allowed to fuck if Jensen isn't with us?" he asks._ _

__Jared shrugs. "We never did and it never came up," he says._ _

__"Well, for the record, you can do whatever you two want together," Jensen says. "That's none of my business. Though I wouldn't mind a play-by-play."_ _

__Jared gives a little laugh, tension leaving his shoulders. "Okay," he says and shifts. His stomach rumbles loudly then and he draws one leg up against himself. "Sorry."_ _

__"Jesus," Jensen laughs. "That sounded bad, Jay. When's the last time you ate?"_ _

__"Properly?" Jared asks, shrugging. "Lunch yesterday."_ _

__Jensen's expression turns more somber then and Jeff squeezes his hips._ _

__"Fuck. It's really been a rough day, huh?" Jensen asks, and Jared smiles weakly._ _

__"Yeah," he says honestly._ _

__"Okay. How about we order in and then I'll join you two and we'll have dinner in bed, maybe watch a movie or something?" Jensen suggests._ _

__"Sounds good," Jeff says, and Jared nods in agreement._ _

__Jensen leans in and kisses him softly. "Will you be okay, baby?" he asks quietly, and Jared nods again._ _

__"Yeah. I'll be fine," he says honestly._ _

__*_ _

__Jared stretches as he wakes up, his back cracking right before he relaxes back into the soft pillows and sheets._ _

__The sun is shining through the open windows, a gentle breeze coming in and he has the bed all to himself, so he spreads his arms wide._ _

__Both sides of the bed next to him are still a little warm, and Jared smiles, remembering being squashed between Jeff and Jensen last night as they watched a movie. Jensen is usually the one who sleeps in the middle, but having Jeff and Jensen on either of his sides had eased the last of his worries, had made him feel safe and loved and right where he belonged._ _

__He rubs his cheek against the pillow under him and sighs. Jensen is in the bathroom; Jared can hear the sound of something being put down with a small clatter before the water of the sink is turned on, and he can feel Jensen too, his presence so familiar it never fails to soothe Jared._ _

__Jeff is downstairs, and he feels calmer than Jensen, gentler._ _

__Jared smiles, but then his eyes pop open. He can _feel_ Jeff. _ _

__It's not like meeting Jensen for the first time, not the shocking intensity he felt when Jensen first stepped into his life, but there's a pull low in Jared's gut, and he gasps._ _

__"Jared?" Jensen asks._ _

__Jared turns his head back and then struggles to sit up. "This can't be right," he says._ _

__"What?" Jensen asks, looking puzzled. He steps out of the bathroom fully, a towel wrapped around his waist._ _

__"Jeff," Jared says._ _

__"What about Jeff?"_ _

__"I can _feel_ Jeff. A… a connection to him. Like with you," Jared says._ _

__Jensen doesn't look shocked, not even a little surprised. Instead he just smiles, a slow, happy smile._ _

__"Jensen?"_ _

__Jensen comes over to the bed and sits down. "Jeff's been feeling it for a little while too," he says._ _

__Jared gapes at him, the implications of what that means making his stomach do somersaults. "Why didn't you tell me?"_ _

__"Jeff wanted to wait," Jensen tells him and rubs his thigh through the sheets. "He, well, he was a little worried you didn't feel it. That it was just him. And it was his decision to make."_ _

__Jared exhales loudly, still feeling a little unable to believe this is happening. "We're bonded," he says._ _

__"Yeah," Jensen says and nods._ _

__"Shit, Jensen. This is insane. Right?"_ _

__"A little bit," Jensen agrees. "But a good kind of insane."_ _

__"Yeah," Jared says. "I can't believe this is happening. How is this happening?"_ _

__Jensen shrugs. "Jeff thinks that maybe, since you didn't feel it right away, it's just something that grew over time. That you guys formed a bond," he says. "But who the fuck knows?"_ _

__Jared's mouth stretches into a wide smile then. "Who cares?" he asks and laughs a little. "This is amazing… I should probably tell Jeff."_ _

__"Probably," Jensen agrees, sounding amused._ _

__Jared leans forward and kisses Jensen. "I love you," he mumbles against Jensen's mouth and feels him grin._ _

__"Love you, too, you dork," Jensen says. "No, go. Talk to Jeff. He's been waiting for this."_ _

__Jared nods and slides out from under the sheets. He grabs a pair of sweatpants—Jensen's—and tugs them on before rushing down the stairs._ _

__"Are you that fucking hungry?" Jeff asks when Jared enters the kitchen. "That sounded like a fucking stampede of elephants coming down the stairs."_ _

__Jared laughs and doesn't stop until he's right in front of Jeff, throwing him arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss._ _

__"Hmmm, good morning," Jeff mumbles._ _

__"I feel you," Jared says against his mouth, not wanting to put even an inch between them._ _

__"Hmm," Jeff hums and draw back a little. "Feel what?"_ _

__He wiggles his eyebrows and Jared laughs._ _

__"No. Idiot," he says. "I feel _you_ , Jeff."_ _

__He can practically see the realization dawn on Jeff's face and then he's being hauled back into another kiss._ _

__*_ _

__Jared sighs contentedly, pushing his foot to the ground to make the porch swing sway back and forth gently._ _

__Jensen's head is pillowed in his lap and Jeff's fingers are carding through his hair._ _

__There are not-yet-unpacked boxes everywhere in the house, a bunch of pieces of his furniture stored in one of the guests rooms that they have no use for yet, and books upon books that they'll need to buy more shelves for._ _

__But those are just things. Just belongings. Jared already has everything he needs sitting right beside him, and he's home._ _


End file.
